Nene robs Miko of her Title and becomes the TRUE ELITE [engsub/hololive]

Nene and Miko play Minecraft.

Original stream:    • 【Minecraft】🍑年内城建設を諦めてないねね🍑 【ホロライブ/桃鈴ねね/ #ね...  

‪@MomosuzuNene‬
‪@SakuraMiko‬





Among all those mortals who grew ‘wise’ enough to know the secrets of the gods, none was so intelligent as Nene, Representative of Orange. Renown for her engineering prowess, one look at her long list of accomplishments is enough to benumb the mind with complete awe and wonder. For it was her that, in only seven months, built a bridge out of ice to fetch terracotta for a castle which she, to this very day, is not even half done. It was her that scrawled the cryptic engram ‘ENENMI’ on the exterior of the 5th gen house. It was her that saw in iCarly a greater human drama than the works of Shakespeare and Tolstoy combined. And who is to say that she does not see things as they are, and we are but laughing and crying at shadows on the cave wall?

And so came to be that she was charged with the construction of a sinister labyrinth by convicted arsonist and CEO of a construction company that allegedly pays fair wages, Shiranui Flare. To what end such a thing was to be built remains unknown, though there are rumours that a half-cow, half-knight was to dwell somewhere among its twists and turns, feeding on the souls of young boys (god how I wish I were one of them).

Anyway, Nene completed the Labyrinth in record time. Taking only fifty-seven years, she built a maze roughly the size of a small village in Minecraft. The complexity of the paths was such that a lab-trained rat, high out of its fucking gourd on LSD, could navigate it with ease. Yet here Nene became lost in her own maze for several weeks.

And now you may be asking: How is that Nene Momosuzu, holder of the highest IQ ever measured, could not find her way out of a maze that she herself built? In answer I charge you with watching her stream on any given day and you, too, will come to see her continued existence as an absolute miracle, her words and actions more unfathomable than the star-strewn expanse of space.

How Nene found her way out is every bit as ingenious as how she managed to get lost. It is true, however, that she did not do it alone. One day, when Nene was hosting a talk-show for her husbands (a line of carrots and other tubers upon which she had drawn faces with a sharpie marker and numbered until they reached the hundreds of thousands), there flew overhead a pink-haired maiden. Up jumped Nene, screaming, “Help!!! I’m trapped in my own maze!!! I haven’t gone to the bathroom in weeks!!! I’m gonna EXPLODE if I don’t get out of here soon!!!”

And who amognus would refuse to aid one in such dire straits? The pink maiden turned a sympathetic ear earthward and dove sharply on her purple wings. Like a peregrine falcon, falling with a meteor’s reckless descent, she tore the blue firmament like shears parting so much azure canvas. Such was her velocity that spacetime could not bend fast enough to contain her asymptotic free-fall. Light itself was obliged to stop and catch its breath. She hurtled, this pink mote, beyond the computational capacities of God’s Alienware laptop, crashing it, corrupting all the crypto it had mined, and bringing our universe to an end.


On the black screen, in DOS script, a single line blinked: Run Nene.exe? [Y/N]