Why Men Don’t Stay in Therapy

Curt and Katie chat about men’s mental health. We look at why men typically go to therapy, their experiences while in therapy, what therapists get wrong when working with men, and how therapists better support the needs of men seeking mental health treatment.
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In this podcast episode we talk about men seeking therapy

For Men’s Health Awareness month, we want to explore men seeking mental health services.

Why do men typically go to therapy?
Others telling men to go to therapy
Career or relationship issues
Depression, which looks like irritability and hostility (externalized behaviors)
What is the experience of men in therapy?
Therapy seems to try to get men to emote like women
Invalidating masculine presentations and behaviors
Equating masculinity with toxic masculinity
Not feeling safe to express emotions beyond confidence, neutrality, or anger
How can therapists better serve men seeking therapy?
Understanding and honoring a range of masculinities (even within the same client)
Helping men to broaden their range of emotional expression
Problem-solving, solution-focused can be helpful for men who want to have a clearly defined goal to work toward
Collaboratively creating treatment goals
Identity work that supports self-definition of masculinity
What can therapists get wrong when working with men in therapy?
Framing masculinity and toxic masculinity solely as “bad”
Not digging more deeply into individual development around masculinity
Taking offense at their client’s gender identity or ignoring their own bias around “traditional gender roles”
How therapists characterize men’s presenting problems (assigning blame, like depression being seen as anger or hostility, men being described as violent rather than traumatized)

Our Generous Sponsor for this episode of the Modern Therapist’s Survival Guide:
Thrizer

Who we are:
Curt Widhalm is a LMFT in private practice in the Los Angeles area. He is the cofounder of the Therapy Reimagined conference, an Adjunct Professor at Pepperdine University and CSUN, a former Subject Matter Expert for the California Board of Behavioral Sciences, former CFO of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, and a loving husband and father. He is 1/2 great person, 1/2 provocateur, and 1/2 geek, in that order. He dabbles in the dark art of making "dad jokes" and usually has a half-empty cup of coffee somewhere nearby. Learn more at: http://www.curtwidhalm.com

Katie Vernoy is a LMFT, coach, and consultant supporting leaders, visionaries, executives, and helping professionals to create sustainable careers. Katie, with Curt, has developed workshops and a conference, Therapy Reimagined, to support therapists navigating through the modern challenges of this profession. Katie is also a former President of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. In her spare time, Katie is secretly siphoning off Curt's youthful energy, so that she can take over the world. Learn more at: http://www.katievernoy.com


A Quick Note:
Our opinions are our own. We are only speaking for ourselves – except when we speak for each other, or over each other. We’re working on it.
Our guests are also only speaking for themselves and have their own opinions. We aren’t trying to take their voice, and no one speaks for us either. Mostly because they don’t want to, but hey.