All I Got From Law School Was Loans

NYU Law Revue proudly presents our first video of 2019 - All I Got From Law School Was Loans!

Credits:
Written & Produced by Maddy Byrd '19
Arranged by Gavin Mackie '19

Sung by:
Andreas Moffett '20
Kathleen Lewis '20
Gavin Mackie '19
Joy Kim '19

Background dancers:
Olga Kosno LLM '19
Hannah Umansky-Castro '21
Heather McAdams '20

Lyrics:

ASSOCIATE:
I don’t think that I could tell you
What habeas corpus means
And I took torts but don’t remember
(the) Elements of battery
Is there standing in that case?
Can this plaintiff win the day?
I don’t really know
All I got from law school was loans

SECOND ASSOCIATE:
I don’t want to be a lawyer
But I have to pay my debt
And I don’t care about Pennoyer
(Or) if the burden has been met

I don’t need to know property
To sit in on a conference call
Patent law won’t help me any
To help win at firm softball

ASSOCIATE:
Three years in the library
Studying and bluebooking
And what can I show?
All I got from law school was
Loans, loans baby

PARTNER:
Oh, I need this deal closed by Monday
Did you have some weekend plans?
Just call and say you’ll see them someday
I’m sure they will understand

I won’t ask you about crim pro
But I will get kinda mad
You don’t know the rule of laches
Oh, they didn’t teach you that?

ASSOCIATE:
Well I know that I am a mess
But they don’t teach you success
Wish I would have known
Baby, all you get from law school is loans
Loans, baby

SECOND ASSOCIATE
Oh, all the schools should teach you
Which judges to avoid
And some conversation
Starters and factoids

ASSOCIATE
Or how to ask for time off
Or about taxes write offs
Law school would you teach us the things we really need?
Won’t you please give us more than degrees?

SECOND ASSOCIATE
I didn’t learn a thing from law school
That I need for my career
They just gave me fancy cocktails
And probably too much beer

ASSOCIATE
Oh, what’s the rule for due process?
I don’t think I could care less
Hear me bitch and moan
About all I got from law school was loans,
Loans, baby