Why parents yell at their kids and how to stop

We engage in behavior all day long for different reasons. The principles of behavior are always at play!

It doesn’t matter how old you are or what you are doing—behavior happens for a reason, and understanding the “why” behind it is crucial.

For example, right now, as I type this caption, I’m receiving positive reinforcement because when my fingers hit the keyboard, letters appear on my screen. That feedback keeps me going!

This applies to parenting too. Take yelling, for instance. Parents often yell because it feels like it “works” in the moment—it stops your child’s challenging behavior, which removes something unpleasant for the you. This is negative reinforcement: the parent’s yelling is reinforced because it takes away the aversive situation.

But here’s the tricky part: if your child starts yelling again a few hours later, it’s likely because your child’s behavior was reinforced too. Whether it was through attention or another outcome they were seeking, the cycle continues.

Behavior doesn’t happen randomly—there’s always a reason behind it. The better we understand these reasons, the more intentional we can be about addressing challenging behaviors and building positive habits that last.

Comment READY if you are prepared for peaceful, easy going days without the tantrums and power struggles, and I’ll show you how. 

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