The REAL Reason Why You Waste Your Time

One day I realized most of the time I am not doing 'what I want'. Mostly felt like I was doing things 'I had to do' and only 10-20% of my time I was doing what I really want.
So I decided I want to do an experiment - take ALL the pressure off, tell myself and behave like I am on vacation, so I can ONLY do what I want. Ideally, this is how I want to live my life, having a holiday feeling because I'm only doing things I want to do.

I had no idea how it would turn out and what I would do with my time. I was hoping I will do similar things but this time not out of pressure but out of really wanting them.

But that did not really happen. After a few nice days I started feeling kind of down and finding myself do things I didn't really want, but I felt 'compelled' to do, by my subconscious, basically wasting my time.
I quickly realized the main issue was most of the time I unconsciously chase desires I am not even aware of, that mostly come from upbringing. So you are not actually wasting time but usually try to satisfy needs you are not even aware of, or you are looking for a way to escape yourself because you don't like who you are.

Resources mentioned:
Letting Go: The Pathway To Surrender by David R. Hawkins
Transformation Mastery by Julien Blanc
The Fountainhead - Ayn Rand (Ellsworth Toohey speech:    • How to Rule Souls - Ellsworth Toohey  )

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