5 Signs You’re a People Pleaser and How to Set Boundaries

If you find yourself constantly apologizing or always saying “YES” to things even when you want to say “NO”, you might be stuck in a loop of people pleasing. And it’s costing you more than you think.

So what is people pleasing?

At its core, it’s when your need for approval overrides your own needs, priorities, or even your well-being.

On the surface it seems harmless — being nice, agreeable, helpful — but it can create many negative effects such as passive aggressiveness, bottled up emotions, and taking away your own precious time.

Here’s the truth: there is a clear distinction between being kind and empathetic compared to having the impulse to be nice and agreeable even when it crosses your own boundaries.

And over time, the unhealthy impact of being a people pleaser is that it leaves you feeling invisible, exhausted, and low-key angry… at everyone and no one at the same time.

In this video, I break down 5 clear signs you're caught in the people pleasing pattern:

1. You constantly apologize, even when it's not your fault.
2. You avoid conflict, even when it’s needed.
3. You say "yes" way too often — even when your gut says no.
4. You overcommit to things that don’t align with your priorities.
5. You bottle things up, then explode or burn out in silence.

Sound familiar?

The danger of staying a people pleaser is that you slowly trade your authenticity for approval. You become a version of yourself that’s easy to like — but at the cost of potentially no liking or resepecting yourself.

One key way to change this is by setting boundaries.

In this video, I share one powerful tip to help you identify your non-negotiables — the things you will no longer bend or shrink around.

Because when you say no to what drains you, you’re actually saying yes to yourself.

This is how you stop overcommitting, reduce burnout, and stop holding yourself back from your own needs and wants.

My name is Dexter Lam and this message is for anyone looking to Think, Feel, and Do Better...

Like & subscribe if you're ready to stop people pleasing and start living life on your terms.

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