The Prewedding: "Panta stégei"

From Pope Francis' recent apostolic exhortation, Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love), one extraordinary section has been all but overlooked. In chapter 4, "Love in Marriage," our late Holy Father offers a moving exegesis of that popular wedding reading, St. Paul’s ode to love from 2 Corinthians. It's about more than marriage, though; it's mercy in action.

(112). First, Paul says that love “bears all things” (panta stégei). This is about more than simply putting up with evil; it has to do with the use of the tongue. The verb can mean “holding one’s peace” about what may be wrong with another person. It implies limiting judgment, checking the impulse to issue a firm and ruthless condemnation: “Judge not and you will not be judged” (Lk 6:37). Although it runs contrary to the way we normally use our tongues, God's word tells us: "Do not speak evil against one another, brothers and sisters" (Jas 4:11). Being willing to speak ill of another person is a way of asserting ourselves, venting resentment and envy without concern for the harm we may do. We often forget that slander can be quite sinful; it is a grave offense against God when it seriously harms another person's good name and causes damage that is hard to repair. Hence God's word forthrightly states that the tongue "is a world of iniquity" that "stains the whole body" (Jas 3:6); it is a "restless evil, full of deadly poison" (3:8). Whereas the tongue can be used to “curse those who are made in the likeness of God" (3:9), love cherishes the good name of others, even one’s enemies. In seeking to uphold God's law we must never forget this specific requirement of love.

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For us, panta stégei isn't just an ancient Greek phrase tucked inside Scripture -- it's a quiet revolution for how we love. It dares to ask: "What if love was less about emotion and more about endurance? Less about exposure and more about protection?" Think about it! A roof doesn't brag about the storms it withstands. It doesn't announce, "I'm keeping you dry." It simply covers; it stays. That is the hidden beauty of panta stégei: love that doesn't seek for attention but offers safety. In a world obsessed with visibility, this kind of love operates in humility. It covers when others uncover, it believes when trust feels naïve. But it doesn't mean that panta stégei is passive. It's the most fierce of them all. It's the love that stands in the rain, refusing to move, because someone needs a roof more than you need comfort. It's the kind of love that looks ordinary from the outside -- listening, forgiving, staying -- but carries sacred strength inside. When we start living panta stégei, we may stop asking "How do I get love?" and yet begin asking "How can I be a shelter?". In fact maybe that's where love, in its truest and most transformative form, finally begins to make sense.

And if love is to be more than sentiment, “panta stegei” is a blueprint for lived action: covering, bearing, believing, hoping, enduring.

As ever,
Stefan & Ibreyna.