What if Darth Jar Jar was Real and as Smart as Thrawn

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What if Darth Jar Jar was Real and as Smart as Thrawn? Let’s explore the depths of it in the video.

Jar Jar and his small fleet of tanks rumble through the dusty plains of Florrum as they make their way into the pirate compound of Hondo Ohnaka. They had already recovered the spices from the pirates who ambushed them, now all they needed to was find Anakin and Obi-Wan. And of course, have a little chat with Count Dooku.

As they approach the compound, Jar Jar looks over at the driver’s seat where Commander Stone and another clone are piloting the tank.

Jar Jar: Yousa did a muoy good job commanda. I think you two earned yourself a rest.

Stone: E-excuse me…sir.

Suddenly, the clone commander’s eyes flutter close as does the pilot. As he’s about to fall asleep, Jar Jar holds his hand over to Stone’s face.

Jar Jar: Yousa came here with Representative Binks, but yousa left him outside the compound to keep him from trouble.

Stone: I came here with Representative Binks, but I left him outside the compound to keep him from trouble.

Their tank comes to a slow halt as Jar Jar steps out. When the troopers in the other tank follow and look around, Jar Jar smiles and does the same sleep trick on them. It will only keep them out for a few minutes, more than enough time to finish the job.

He sneaks into the compound which is now thankfully unguarded without power. Jar Jar takes a deep breath and follows Dooku’s familiar presence to one of the landing pads where Dooku had just finished off the guards.

Jar Jar smiles and steps forward.

Jar Jar: Going somewhere, county…

Dooku: Surprise. You?! That’s impossible.

Jar Jar: Darth Jar Jar is back, bitch.

He thrusts his hands and Dooku slams against the side of the pirate ship. Before he can get up, Darth Jar Jar slips his hands into the fold of his shirt and pulls out a lightsaber, holding it against his throat.

Dooku winces, trying to lift his head, but Jar Jar presses the blade closer. Instead, he raises his hands in surrender.

Dooku: What do you want?

Laughing, Jar Jar swings his lightsaber down at him, but when the Count looks up, he’s surprised to see The saber buried into the hull of the ship next to his head, the manic smile still wide across the gungags face

Jar Jar: I just want my good friend Dooku to escape safe and sound. But only once weees understand each other. Yousa gonna be working for me now, okeyyyy? Together, weesa gonna take over the galaxy.

Dooku: And what of Palpatine?

Jar Jar: Laughs. Palpy is gonna be messa’s pawn. And heesa reign is a comin’ to an end you see.

Although he continues to cackle, there is anger in Jar Jar’s voice as he thinks back on his plans. He had hoped to grant Palpatine the emergency power he needed to rule almost as a dictator, he would begin passing the necessary reforms.

It had all been Darth Jar Jar’s plan. He knew how rotten the Republic was and how weak the Jedi were. But with that weakness came potential. If he played his cards right, they could rule the galaxy together. But that was where their visions diverged. Palpatine wanted to create an Empire based on the Sith’s ideals, but Jar Jar knew better.

The Rule of Two, while it brought order could not allow them to organize such a massive institution. It forced them to rely on less savory or competent individuals as Dooku and Palpatine have shown. Jar Jar would have to change that.

Jar Jar: Now, youssa gonna leave, but youssa gonna take a vacation. A long one. After that, yousa gonna get instructions from me. Understand?

Dooku slowly nods his head as he disappears back into the ship and takes off. Once he is gone, Jar Jar takes a deep breath and returns, shifting back to his playful and clumsy persona as he jogs over to where the clones entered the compound.

Jar Jar: Hellowy!

With their failure to capture Dooku, many expected the war to return to its original situation, but something strange happened. Rather than return to lead the CIS, Dooku instead retreats to Sereno and allows Grievous greater command of the war. Instead, Dooku focuses on ordering the CIS Council.

This leads the war to take a more aggressive turn as unbound by any restrictions, Grievous embarks on bold offensives that try to push the CIS forward. While they are brutal and sometimes effective, he lacks the trust of the council. They see Grievous as too aggressive, and too violent and try to restrain him as much as they can to avoid him overextending their lines.

This is made worse by the emergence of piratical activities in their home territories. With Grievous going on the attack, Hondo and other pirate groups begin to raid CIS supply lines. Small pirate fleets emerge from hyperspace, engaging understaffed supply ships and capturing them before disappearing.

#starwars #starwarswhatif #darthjarjar #thrawn