john and sherlock | caring is not an advantage

tumblr : http://ican-always-seeyou.tumblr.com/...

I THOUGHT I'D NEVER FINISH THIS VIDEO. I started it a month ago, but god that kind of video is a nightmare to make. Initially i wanted to make a sherlock character study, then a john character study, then a john/sherlock relationship study and i went HELL LET'S DO ALL OF IT IN ONE VIDEO. Which explains why it's so long. And it could have been even longer, i had like AT LEAST one minute more of voiceovers but i had to cut many because a. i couldn't find a music long enough (trivial reason) and b. honestly i would have gone nuts.

Sooooo. This is META. at least it tries to be. Inspired by a few things i've read on tumblr but also and mostly my own take on the characters and their relationship. it might be slighly johnlock oriented in the end because let's be honest here this ship is almost canon.

where to begin. well i'm not going to explain every choice i made about the voiceovers and the scenes i associated them with, i think you'll get most of it. But in the big lines, it about how john is an adrenaline junkie who doesn't deal very well with that fact, how sherlock is bursting with feelings and hide it behind the high functionning sociopath facade, and about their oh so complicated relationship. John DOESN'T SEE how much sherlock cares about him ('i don't understand' NO YOU DON'T INDEED AND SHOULD DEFINITELY HAVE THAT ON A T SHIRT) and sherlock is so closed off, how could john get that sherlock is pretending not to care WHEN SHERLOCK CAN'T ADMIT THAT SAME FACT TO HIMSELF. I mean the 'love declarations' in the sign of three were lovely but there's so much left unsaid. All the hurt, all the pain, the betrayal, the misunderstandings, it's still kept silent. Their friendship brings out the best of each other but also the worst but they don't talk about that. no. never. THEY HAVE THE BIGGEST COMMUNICATION ISSUE EVER. I SWEAR IT SEEMS TO BE SOMETHING I TREMENDUOUSLY ENJOY AS THE EMOTIONNAL MASOCHIST THAT I AM.

Also i put a bit of johnlock in the end because guys. GUYS. You might not ship it, i'm not sure i do myself (probably not)(idk) but the show has taken a step further in the eternal ambiguity stuff. what sherlock feels about john is out of control, that's called love. And john loves mary but c o m e o n. 'she wasn't supposed to be like THAT', 'THAT' MEANING LIKE SHERLOCK BECAUSE JOHN WATSON IS DONE WITH THIS SHIT but sorry john you haven't moved on at all even if you really tried hard.

i chose to use mary essentially to show that she's, to put it simply, a female version of sherlock. Careful, NOT a substitute. When sherlock says 'you chose her', i know a lot of people think he says 'you chose her over me' but imo he says 'you chose her because she's like me', not in the way 'she's a lesser me', absolutely not (he's a dick but not THAT much), but in the way 'despite the hurt you need someone like us, i was gone and she took over.' And if IS indeed john's fault ! He doesn't consciously put himself in situations where he'll be hurt because of the people he chooses to surround himself with, but inconsciously it's ultimately his decisions. That guy really needs to resolve some issues about his inner self. He's so lost...

sherlock is actually finding himself i think. At great cost. He was right, alone was protecting him. When one has spent their life repressing all kind of feelings, when it breaks out it's in a destructive explosion...for oneself and everybody too close. also that poor man thinks he's just 'useful' to john, which is true in a way, but not only obviously. He doesn't see himself as worthy of love... well it's not even about worth, it's just that he spent his life not even considering he could be loved. i mean the mind palace is the proof of it. What can be found there ? data, reason, logic, caged madness... but the small part of it that represents love is slipping away from him. if you want to read my analysis of sherlock holmes i invite you to visit my 'sherlock holmes' tag on tumblr, i write a lot of shit in the tags.

I WANTED TO MAKE THIS SHORT I'M SORRY. and i didn't talk about the stairs. oh the stairs. i could write pages about these fucking stairs.

Music : olafur arnalds - loftiа verаur skyndilega kalt