A Therapist’s Guide to Gaslighting: What It Is, 5 Common Tactics, and How to Heal

What if the confusion you feel isn’t a flaw in you — but a sign that someone is shifting your reality?

In this episode, we unpack the truth about gaslighting: what it is, what it is not, and why it leaves people questioning their memory, their emotions, and even their sanity. Caleb explains how gaslighting is a deliberate pattern of manipulation designed to make you doubt your perception, your story, and your sense of self. We also explore the difference between normal conflict and true psychological abuse so you can identify what’s really happening in your relationship.

We break down the five common gaslighting tactics — denial, minimizing, blame-shifting, discrediting, and love bombing — and show how each one slowly disconnects you from your own reality. You’ll learn how these tactics create confusion, isolation, self-doubt, and in many cases, a trauma bond that becomes hard to break. The episode also explores the long-term impact of gaslighting, including chronic anxiety, loss of self, and the painful experience of feeling like your internal “compass” is spinning with no clear direction.

Finally, Caleb and Verlynda share three powerful steps to protect yourself: naming the behavior, learning the felt sense of gaslighting in your body, and disengaging from conversations where truth cannot be found. They also offer grounding tools like journaling, trusted support, and therapeutic guidance to help you anchor back into reality and reclaim your self-trust. Gaslighting is confusing and deeply disorienting — but healing is absolutely possible.
 
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EPISODE TIMESTAMPS:
 
00:00 - Intro
00:42 – How gaslighting shifts your reality
01:30 – Gaslighting vs normal conflict: the key difference
02:28 – Why gaslighting creates emotional confusion
03:40 – Tactic 1: Denial (“That never happened”)
04:52 – Tactic 2: Minimizing your experience
06:10 – Tactic 3: Blame-shifting
07:22 – Tactic 4: Discrediting your memory or sanity
08:38 – Tactic 5: Love bombing after harm
09:55 – How gaslighting disconnects you from yourself
11:12 – Why your body alarms before your mind does
12:20 – Long-term impact: anxiety, self-doubt, loss of identity
13:44 – The trauma bond: why it’s so hard to leave
14:58 – Step 1: Name the behavior
15:40 – Step 2: Notice the “felt sense” of gaslighting in your body
16:32 – Step 3: Disengage from unwinnable conversations
17:25 – Grounding tools to re-anchor yourself
18:14 – Why support and community matter
19:10 – Reclaim your reality
 
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