Reclaimed: The Story of Healing with Stephanie Boersma Ep. 697

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞—𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟?

In this episode of the Awesome Marriage Podcast, Dr. Kim sits down with Stephanie Boersma to talk candidly about walking through sexual betrayal, confronting trauma, and finding real hope in Christ. Stephanie shares how she reclaimed her identity, processed triggers, and paired clinical tools with a faith-first posture of surrender and forgiveness.

Stephanie explains what recovery looks like day-to-day—from naming gaslighting and setting wise boundaries to inviting safe community into the healing journey. She unpacks practical frameworks like the “Three Trees” map, the HALT check-in, and the seven stages of grief through the lens of marital betrayal—showing how to pause, regulate, and move forward without minimizing pain.

𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞:
👉 “You’re not crazy”: separating facts from lies when shame and confusion hit.
👉 Triggers 101: why they happen, how “what fires together wires together,” and grounding steps to re-regulate.
👉 Gaslighting & narcissistic patterns: how to spot them and protect your heart.
👉 Forgiveness as posture: surrendering control to God without excusing sin—and why boundaries still matter.
👉 The Three Trees diagram: locating your spiritual/emotional state to avoid reactive, destructive choices.
👉 HALT check-in: pause to ask “Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?” before responding.
👉 Seven stages of grief (Psalm 22 → Psalm 23): sitting with sorrow vs. getting stuck in isolation.
👉 Soul care vs. self-care: Scripture, prayer, and community as lifelines (healing doesn’t happen alone).
👉 Real-world boundaries that help: no cash on hand, no phone in the bathroom, accountability partners, travel/hotel protocols.
👉 Rebuilding identity: combatting lies with truth, inviting trusted voices, and embracing who God says you are.
👉 Hope requires action: choosing faith minute by minute—whether the story ends in restoration or a biblical, unwanted divorce.
👉 Bonus resource: “One Thing” daily marriage tip—quick reads, gender-specific, with printable helps.

🙌 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫: Betrayal is devastating, but it’s not the end of your story. Anchored in God’s unchanging truth—and surrounded by wise community—you can heal, set healthy boundaries, and find hope again.

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Dr. Kim Kimberling is a professional marriage counselor and president of Awesome Marriage. He has been counseling couples for 40 years, and married to Nancy for over 53 years. Together they have two adult children and 5 grandchildren.


Awesome Marriage ministries is a non-profit that exists to help strengthen marriages through podcasts, videos, blog posts, digital resources and more! We create online content to help your marriage not just survive, but thrive! Our content is centered on Biblical principles to help grow you closer to God and your spouse.


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