What Might Be Under the Perfectionism, Shame, and Self-Loathing with Amber Trejo

In today's episode, I’m talking to Amber Trejo, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in complex trauma and attachment, about what might be under the perfectionism, shame, and self-loathing. Amber explains how complex trauma often forms when there was never a true baseline of safety growing up, how, while it can be painful to realize we might hurt our kids, the repair matters FAR more than perfection, and so much more.


Healing from complex trauma and things like perfectionism, shame, and self-loathing doesn’t start with “being better,” it starts with awareness, curiosity, and support. Whether that’s therapy, learning, or simply beginning to ask yourself gentler questions, please know you are not broken, and you are NOT alone!


In this episode, we cover:

1. Amber’s journey into understanding & working with complex trauma
2. What complex trauma (C-PTSD) is + how growing up without a baseline of safety impacts the nervous system
3. The key difference between PTSD and complex trauma
4. How emotional neglect often goes unrecognized, even in childhoods that felt “good”
5. Why shame is central to complex trauma + how it often shows up
6. How complex trauma affects relationships, conflict & nervous system capacity
7. Why repair matters more than perfection in parenting
8. How to support yourself + loved ones when navigating complex trauma





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Find the complete show notes here: https://terryndrieling.com/under-the-...





Connect with Amber:

1. Follow on Instagram @integrativetraumatherapist (  / integrativetraumatherapist  )
2. Connect on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...)
3. Follow on TikTok (  / amber.the.therapist  )
4. Check out her website (https://www.theintegrativetraumathera...)
5. Send her an email at ambie0406@gmail.com (mailto:ambie0406@gmail.com)





Connect with Terryn:

1. Follow on Instagram @terryn.drieling (https://good-movement.captivate.fm/in...)
2. Check out my website (https://good-movement.captivate.fm/we...)
3. Send me an email at terryn@terryndrieling.com (mailto:terryn@terryndrieling.com)


Resources & Links:

1. You Can Heal Your Life (https://www.amazon.com/You-Can-Heal-Y...) by Louise Hay (https://www.amazon.com/You-Can-Heal-Y...)
2. Join The Draw (https://terryndrieling.com/the-draw/)
3. Schedule a free consult and see if 1:1 Good Movement Guidance (https://good-movement.captivate.fm/1-...) is right for you
4. Check out my merch shop (https://good-movement.captivate.fm/merch)
5. Join the waitlist for the Good Movement Collective (https://good-movement.captivate.fm/co...)
6. Good Movement music by: Aaron Espe (https://good-movement.captivate.fm/aa...)
7. Podcast produced by: Jill Carr Podcasting (https://good-movement.captivate.fm/ji...)