19. Too Miserable to Be Merry – Turkey, Tinsel & Family Trauma

Ever felt like you’re too much, too sensitive or too difficult to just enjoy Christmas?
Yeah. Us too.


In this episode of Too Much, Apparently, we (Carly and Alice — two therapists and recovering perfectionists with squishy brains) get real about why Christmas can feel unbearable when family trauma, old dynamics and unspoken roles come back online.


We talk honestly about what happens when you’ve grown, done the work, built a life that fits you… and then go home and suddenly feel small, reactive or like you’ve undone years of healing. Not because you’re failing, but because your nervous system remembers.


We unpack how family systems, emotionally immature parenting and trauma get amplified at Christmas, and why “just enjoy it” is one of the least helpful things anyone can say.






This time we talked about:


🎙️ We’ve felt this too (and we still do):Dreading going home, feeling guilty for wanting space, bracing yourself emotionally before seeing family


👀 What it looks like in real life:Regressing around parents, slipping back into old roles, being labelled the problem, performing calm or cheerfulness to keep the peace


🧠 Why our brains do it:Family trauma, emotional flashbacks, nervous system activation, loyalty binds and growing up with emotionally immature parents


🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻 The different ways it shows up:People pleasing, shutting down, snapping, overthinking every interaction, feeling like a child in an adult body


🧰 Coping mechanisms:Emotional masking, over-functioning, numbing out, avoiding conflict, telling yourself you “should be fine”


🌱 How to make peace with it:Understanding that struggling at Christmas doesn’t mean you’ve failed at healing — it means you’re human in a relational system that still affects you






Thanks for listening 💛💜🩷🩵🧡


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👩‍💻 Carly Radford:


→ Website: www.carlyradford.com (http://www.carlyradford.com)


→ Instagram: @the_sensitivity_therapist (  / the_sensitivity_therapist  )


👩🏻‍💻 Alice Tew:


→ Website: www.alicetew.com (http://www.alicetew.com)


→ Instagram: @reparentingwithalice (  / reparentingwithalice  )






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This is a podcast that says: bring your too-muchness… we’re here for it.






Disclaimer: Just a quick note to say this podcast isn’t therapy, and it’s not a substitute for professional support. We’re here to share ideas and experiences, but if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support service near you.


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