Stop Trying To "Earn" Your Relationships

If you’ve spent years as one of the people pleasers trying to earn love, you know exactly what it’s like mistaking anxiety for chemistry. It’s that moment your body screams “absolutely not” but your brain decides to stay and see if you can fix it.

We weren't born with bad taste; we were trained. Somewhere between childhood and now, we learned that emotional safety was something we had to earn. We became human mood rings, shapeshifting to fit partners who couldn't even handle a houseplant, let alone a whole human. This isn't about bad luck—it's about childhood programming that taught us to chase chaos because it felt like home.

In this video, we’re unpacking the "bad picker" myth:

👆Why we treat relationships like performance art instead of connection.

👆The dangerous lie that “love is a battlefield” (thanks, Pat Benatar).

👆How nervous system regulation changes who you’re attracted to.

👆Why healthy love feels boring—or even suspicious—at first.

If that hit you in the chest a little, tell me in the comments.

#relationshipanxiety #peoplepleasing #midlifereinvention

----------------------------------------------------------------

⏰Chapters:⏰

00:00 Introduction: Recognizing Red Flags
00:14 The Pitfalls of People Pleasing
00:41 Unlearning Toxic Beliefs
01:12 The Journey to Self-Discovery
01:54 The Fear of Being Alone
02:54 The Runaway Bride Analogy
03:58 Mistaking Intensity for Intimacy
05:52 Rewiring Your Relationship Choices
07:19 The Myth of Fixing Your Partner
08:26 Embracing Your True Self
08:59 Conclusion: Finding Healthy Love

----------------------------------------------------------------

🖤 Join the community!    / @laughlinesandlifelessons  
☕ Book a Chat: https://www.sheilahammond.com/book
🍬 Support Me: https://www.venmo.com/u/SheilaHammond
🌐 My Website - The Hub: https://www.sheilahammond.com
🛒 LLLL Merch: https://crowdmade.com/collections/lau...
📝 Substack: https://laughlinesandlifelessons.subs...

----------------------------------------------------------------

💌 I love getting mail from you! Send them here:

Sheila Hammond
2205 W 136th Ave
Ste 106 PMB 10018
Broomfield, CO 80023-9306