Facilitating Autonomous vs Controlled Motivation: Our Kids to our Clients with Dr. Richard Koestner

In part 2 with Dr. Richard Koestner, we discuss the concept of hyper-parenting, the pressures parents face regarding their children's achievements, and the importance of balancing autonomy and limit-setting in parenting. Dr. Koestner also explores how these principles apply to education, emphasizing the need for fostering autonomous motivation among students. The discussion further delves into the complexities of goal setting, the impact of external rewards on intrinsic motivation, and the role of autonomy in psychotherapy.

Dr. Koestner is a professor of Psychology at McGill University where he has conducted research on human motivation for 25 years.
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00:00 Introduction & Episode Overview
01:10 What is Hyper-Parenting?
04:00 Encouraging Autonomy Without Control
08:45 Setting Limits with Empathy
12:00 Supporting Student Autonomy in Education
17:00 The Illusion of Control in Learning
20:00 Self-Determination in Psychotherapy
27:00 Making Peace with Goals and Failure
35:00 Disengaging from Unreachable Goals
38:15 Advice Giving in Therapy & Final Thoughts
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Special Guest: Dr. Richard Koestner
https://www.mcgill.ca/psychology/rich...

Self-Determination Resources
https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/

Zuroff, D. C., & Koestner, R. (2023). Autonomy support and autonomous motivation: Common factors in counseling and psychotherapy. In R. M. Ryan (Ed.), The Oxford Handbook of Self-Determination Theory (pp. 801-818). Oxford University Press.

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2017). Self-determination theory: Basic psychological needs in motivation, development, and wellness. Guilford Press.
https://www.guilford.com/books/Self-D...

Rosenfeld, A. A., & Wise, N. (2000). Hyper-Parenting: Are you hurting your child by trying too hard? St. Martin’s Press.
https://www.amazon.com/Hyper-Parentin...

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🎧 Listen on your podcast player of choice (https://psychotherapyandappliedpsycho...)
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Keywords

#mentalhealth #therapy #psychotherapy #personalizedtreatment #process #emotionalhealth #client #research #podcast #psychology #researchinsights #motivation #selfdetermination #selfdeterminationtheory #intrinsicmotivation

Takeaways

Hyper-parenting reflects societal pressures on parents to showcase children's success.
Parents often compare their children to others, leading to competitive parenting.
High-achieving parents may cultivate their children, impacting their self-perception.
Limit-setting in parenting is essential for child development and emotional health.
Autonomy support does not mean permissiveness; structure is necessary.
In education, fostering a sense of autonomy can enhance student engagement.
Intrinsic motivation can be compromised by external rewards and pressures.
Setting realistic and meaningful goals is crucial for personal fulfillment.
Disengaging from unattainable goals is a necessary process for mental health.
Failure in achieving goals is common and should be viewed with self-compassion.

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Producer: Mack Britton Productions