Cathedral Of Silence

A deeply heartbreaking song about the devastating loneliness of aging and abandonment. "Cathedral of Silence" tells the story of a mother in a nursing home, waiting for children who never visit, dying of a broken heart. Experience this powerful, epic ballad about the silent tragedy of growing old alone.

Lyrics:

Here time does not walk, it crawls upon the floor
Between the smell of bleach and the pastel-colored walls
My life fits in a box, sitting on the dresser
A few yellowed photos of a world no longer in style
The clock in the hallway is an executioner of iron
Hammering out the seconds of my endless winter
I put on my blue cardigan, the one they loved so much
And I sit facing the door, like a waiting child.

It's Sunday today, I think, or perhaps it's Monday
Days have no names when no one tells them to you
The telephone is there, a monster of cold plastic
It has slept for weeks, it will not ring for me
The nurse smiled, a hurried little smile
"They are surely busy, do not be hurt"
Busy living, busy running far from here
Far from the old woman dying of loneliness.

And I wait, I wait, in my cathedral of silence
For a "Mom" to resonate, one final presence
My heart is a drum beating for the void
My eyes are oceans grown too arid
I am not dying of old age, I am not dying of disease
I am dying of this hallway where it never rings out
The sound of their footsteps coming to set me free
I am dying from having too much time to remember how to love.

I see their skinned knees again, their schoolbags too heavy
The noise of the house, the shouts, the calls for help
I was the center of the world, the lighthouse in their storm
Today I am the shadow of a chair, a silhouette
I kept the candies they liked best, just in case
In the top drawer, they have gone soft
Like my hope melting away, drop after drop
On the frozen linoleum of my defeat.

They say the soul is strong, but the body remembers
That it needs arms to hold on until tomorrow
When the heart has no one left to say "I adore you" to
It slows its pace, it prepares its departure
What good is breathing this air that smells of the end
If my hands can no longer hold their hands?

So I wait, I wait, in my cathedral of silence
Until the last, the very last chance fades away
My heart was a drum, it now beats only for the void
My eyes finally close, tired and pale
I did not die of old age, nor of disease
I died in this hallway where it never rang out
The sound of their footsteps coming to set me free
I died from having too much time... just to wait...

The door stays closed.
It feels cold all of a sudden.
It's okay, my loves.
It's okay...
I am leaving... without you.