What are NLP Perceptual Positions? Putting Yourself in Another Person's Place

We sometimes use the phrase, ‘putting yourself in someone else’s shoes’. Well, NLP has a helpful technique that helps you do just that… and more. It’s called Perceptual Positions.

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NLP
This video is part of course module 2.9.2
Program 2: Manager as Communicator
Course 9: NLP
Section 2: Understanding People

Dr Mike Clayton has been an NLP Master Practitioner since 2003.

Other videos in this section include:
🎬 NLP Eye Accessing Cues: WTF?    • NLP Eye Accessing Cues: WTF?  
🎬 NLP Meta Programs: How we See the World    • NLP Meta Programs: How we See the World  
🎬 NLP Meta Model: Precision Questioning and Listening    • What is the NLP Meta Model? Precision Ques...  


LESSON NOTES
John Grinder and Judith Delozier modeled negotiators' approaches and discovered three primary perspectives we can take, which they labeled first, second, and third position.

First Position: Your own shoes
To appreciate what is important to you, and to get in touch with your own feelings about a situation.

Second Position: Their shoes
To see the world through the other person's eyes, to get a sense of how they read the situation and what is important to them.

Third Position: Objective observer
A chance to see things as a neutral observer would see them.

adopting all three perceptual positions in sequence can give you a broader and far clearer understanding of a situation.

1. Put yourself in your own shoes and see what you are seeing, hear what you are hearing, and feel what you are feeling.
2. Now, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see what they are seeing, hear what they are hearing, and feel what they are feeling.
This will be even more powerful if you sit or stand opposite where you were in step 1, or where the other person may sit or stand.
3. Now take the position of a detached observer. Ideally sit or stand in a position where you could see both yourself and the other person, from steps 1 and 2. What do you see? What do you hear? How are they interacting? What do you notice? What are their hopes and aspirations? And what are they hiding?
4. Now return to your own shoes (and physical position). How do you feel now? And what have you learned?


RECOMMENDED EXERCISE
1. Next time you want to understand a situation or prepare for a difficult conversation or negotiation, use the Perceptual Positions exercise. (2 MC CPD Points)
2. After the exercise, also reflect on how it worked for you and how you can make it more effective for you next time. (2 MC CPD Points)


DOWNLOADS
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RECOMMENDED READING
There are many books that introduce NLP. These are the ones I have, and can recommend:
📖 NLP Workbook: A Practical Guide To Achieving The Results You Want https://geni.us/LNhW
📖 NLP at Work: The Difference that Makes the Difference https://geni.us/we84
📖 Introducing NLP: Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People https://geni.us/H3VneOh


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Managers Need a Basic set of kit to do your job well. Here are my top recommendations: https://kit.co/MikeClayton/manager-s-... (the links are affiliated)

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CHAPTER MARKERS

00:00 - Put yourself in someone else’s shoes
00:24 - Modelling what the most effective negotiators do
00:55 - First Position
01:30 - Second Position
02:42 - Third Position
03:46 - The Perceptual Positions exercise
04:13 - Step 1
04:50 - Step 2
05:29 - Kinesthetic Perceptual Positions exercise
06:03 - Step 3
07:09 - Step 4
07:27 - Conclusion: Perceptual Positions

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