Why Does It Feel like I Am Fighting My Thoughts?

If the mind is just thoughts appearing in consciousness, how can it sometimes feel like I am fighting my thoughts? Are thoughts conscious in their own right?

Rupert says: ‘The mind is a mixture of consciousness plus thoughts, feelings, sensations and perceptions in the same way this room is empty space plus walls and objects. This apparently separate entity, the mind, wants to perpetuate itself. It does so by continuing its activity – so the mind keeps thinking, feeling, sensing and perceiving.’

‘The mind doesn’t mind what it does – whether seeking happiness in the world or enlightenment in spirituality – as long as it keeps going. That’s why one of the hardest things for a spiritual seeker is to let go of the impulse of seeking itself – because that feels like death to the mind. But eventually you have to let all of that go, and that is the death of the apparently separate self.’

*This video is from one of Rupert’s in-person retreats at The Vedanta, 6–13 June 2025. For more information on upcoming retreats (many of which can be attended online via livestream) go to:

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Timestamps:
0:00 What Is the Finite Mind?
1:52 Why Am I Fighting My Thoughts?
3:27 How the Mind Perpetuates Itself
4:54 Death of the Separate Self
6:47 Is the Mind Conscious?

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