rain, an Excerpt

rain
Created & Performed by Meytal Blanaru
Music: Benjamin Sauzerau
Dramaturgy: Olivier Hespel
Video: Joop Pareyn

Production: Fathom HIGH asbl
Coproduction: Les Brigittines, Centre d'Art contemporain Movement de la Ville de Bruxelles, Catamon Dance Group
Residency: Les Brigittines, Centre d'Art contemporain Movement de la Ville de Bruxelles, Shanti Home, Danscentrumjette.

A note about the piece:
rain speaks openly about a difficult experience of sexual abuse that I went through as a child.
It was important for me to break my cycles of silence, shame and guilt and stand proud as a survivor, and not a victim.
To speak up of such experiences often raises the fear of being labeled as a victim, which often associates to being weak. I feel that the opposite is true. People who go through such experiences often need to reassemble the pieces and rebuild themselves. I can't imagine an act of greater strength.

Since the #metoo movement erupted I became vastly aware of the objectifying misuse of women's bodies, and of the way that my own definition of womanhood is dictated by heterosexual male terms. I was thirsty to meet myself and my body through my own perspective, not someone else's.

I've never experienced such heights of anxiety and fear before going on stage as I do now every time I've had an opportunity to share this piece with others. The levels of transparency, exposure and vulnerability that this piece takes me to feels almost overwhelming. And yet, this process lifted years of excess weight off my shoulders. I'm no longer afraid, ashamed, silent, nor do I feel guilty for anything. This process helped me step into my own in many ways and redefine some basic constructs that their old narrower versions stopped fitting. Without anticipating it, I found a lot of strength and freedom in places where I used to meet fear and thick protections.
This memory might be a meaningful part of who I am, yet it no longer defines me.
I choose to share all of this with you in this open way for the same reason that I set out to do this piece - I know I am not alone in this experience, and that many of us have each their own story. I see a value in being less alone within that space, as well as normalizing the discourse around these themes, so that eventually they may burden people less, individually as well as collectively. - Meytal Blanaru.