The Two Ronnies Bagpipe Sketch: The Full Lyrics (Finally!)

Ever watched the classic Two Ronnies bagpipe sketch and wondered what on earth they were actually singing?

For decades, the brilliant parody lyrics written by Ronnie Barker have been famously difficult to hear, drowned out by the studio audience, the sound mix, and the glorious sound of the pipes themselves. If you've searched for them online, you've probably discovered... nothing.

As a born and bred Scotsman, even I had trouble. So, I decided to finally solve the mystery. After slowing down the audio and doing some deep research, I've compiled what I believe are the most accurate lyrics available for this masterpiece of British comedy.

Now you can enjoy the full sketch with all the clever, and sometimes not-so-PC, jokes unlocked and on-screen!

*Lyrics included for:*
Pibroch o' Donald Dubh (Introduction)
Amazing Grace
Loch Lomond
The Bluebells of Scotland
Orange and Blue (Brochan Lom)
The Green Hills of Tyrol (A Scottish Soldier)

Did I get them all right? If you're a fellow fan and you caught a word I missed or got wrong, please leave a comment! Let's work together to create a perfect archive of this classic sketch.

Enjoy!