Angle Grinder Puck (E-Z spanner wrench)

Last few descriptions were really more like vanity cards. They were mean, cynical, and probably too brutally honest. It's a bit self-indulgent, and I'd apologize for it, except that doing so would undermine the credibility of my authenticity. Serious as a heart attack, I tell you: if you don't like it, shove off. Nobody's twisting your arm to read this.

Most presenters see this space as an opportunity; they will fill this up with links, promos, and any self-furthering, time-wasting leftover sh!t that can still be scraped from the side of the advertisement chumbucket. This is AFTER having already bombarded you with all of the rest of their pleas for help. Content is only the delivery system. I don't know whether to hate them or pity them: on one hand, they're clearly dishonest, low-life sellouts; on the other, they're also fragile human beings who're only seeking to further some aspect of themselves. Life is tough. If you can tear a hole in the tedium and slither into the world of illusory popularity, why not? The thought of being forgotten is to face oblivion, is it not? Most of us don't have the strength for that.

When I said "strength" in the previous sentence, it didn't mean what you think. I meant ego, but a strong ego is not really something to value. If I would've said "most of us don't have the ego for that," you might interpret it as meaning that a strong ego would be more resistant to facing the idea of oblivion, but it's quite the opposite. An ego that is easily shed is the condition worth coveting; dropping it is a valuable skill, and the strong ego won't let go. Those of us who cling to this world and its temporary enticements are both fooling our'selves' and setting our'selves' up for disaster. Most of us can't deal with the idea of being forgotten. Most of us have an ego that is too strong, too clingy, to allow us to calmly face oblivion.

Now, here I might offer the reader some gentle solace with the fact that oblivion is only one possible state for the conscious experience to arrive at. To a panpsychist like myself, such a bleak result seems a bit dramatic, and also a little bit unrealistic. Consciousness is not really an on/off condition; there are lots of gray areas surrounding the concept. That's been a tough pill to swallow for me, because philosophy presents an either-or dichotomy with the tension between Dualism and Materialism, and for me, the traditional antitheist routine has been to overcorrect for superstition/speculation by hyper-endorsing empirical modes of epistemology, but to do so is to trade one extreme for a seemingly more realistic one. It's like overcorrecting for Communism by implementing a perfectly deregulated system of capital. The fix for a fire is usually not to fill the room with water. There's this ancient Chinese proverb: don't use a sledgehammer to kill a fly.

But all that's a diversion. You may or may not cease entirely. So what. The focus here is to remember that in the meantime, ego is NOT a strength. It is the ultimate human foible. You are part of this, this thing, and not separate. The belief otherwise is erroneous. Dropping my ego was also a tough pill. You might think that it's still in full swing, but you'd be wrong. I can seem plenty arrogant, sure; I'm clever as they come, and I'm forced to know it. It's repellent. Don't confuse confidence with ego. I can be aware of—and admit to—abilities & limitations without giving in to the lust for vanity. I do not think of myself as being special or important. In fact, I'm painfully underdeveloped in many ways. I've abandoned my most passionate pursuit, and happily accepted a standard of life that's far beneath what is materially accessible to me. It is not ego that braggadociously admits this to you, either, reader. It is my pride at having overcome life's most relentless & destructive illusion. Only a young man, I'd decided with certainty that I would soon die, and then proceeded with life recklessly, with this assumption simmering on the side. Over time, the loss of care was slowly replaced with the care to not lose it, because I started to become aware of just how fleeting and delicate awareness is.

We don't have time to waste. There's no room here for dishonesty. You need to know what is important, and I only have so much time & space to share what I believe that is with you. If meanness, cynicism, brutal honesty, and self-indulgences can snap you into attention, then I can use them and this space as a delivery system for something far more valuable than any selfish solicitation: I can instead use it to establish a genuine connection between we two creatures of awareness, who happen to be floating along parallel vectors in time and understanding. Serious as a heart attack, I mean this: the ego is an illusion. Well-being, love, is wise. That's as close to real as consciousness gets. Ego is just a distraction.

It'd probably be easier to just twist your arm and force you to listen.

That's 5000 cha