The Psychology Behind Men Who Please Women First | ESTHER PEREL

In this powerful 17:56-minute motivational talk, relationships expert Esther Perel dives into the hidden psychology of men who instinctively prioritise pleasing women — emotionally, sexually or relationally. She reveals how early emotional conditioning, societal expectations, self-worth issues and people-pleasing patterns converge to shape a man’s identity and relationships. You’ll learn to recognise the “pleaser” archetype, understand the cost of neglecting your own needs, and begin to reclaim authentic intimacy, boundaries and self-respect.

🎯 Whether you’re a man who finds yourself always putting others first, a partner seeking to understand him better, or anyone committed to evolving your relational self-awareness — this talk gives you practical insight and motivation to shift out of unconscious habits and step into balanced connection where both partners feel seen, safe and sincere.

🔔 Watch closely, pause at the timestamps, reflect on yourself — and let this be the start of change: moving from pleasing to thriving.

⏱ Timestamps
00:00 🔍 Introduction – Why some men always try to please women
02:10 🧠 Perel’s framework – Intimacy, identity & people-pleasing
04:20 👦 The male-pleaser archetype – Childhood roots & role models
06:35 💬 Masculinity & emotional labour – When caring becomes self-sacrifice
08:45 ❤️ The hidden desire to be needed – Validation vs authentic connection
10:55 🎭 When pleasing becomes a pattern – Self-worth, dependency & boundaries
13:05 🚨 Impact on relationships & partners – Emotional fatigue & imbalance
15:15 🔧 How to break the cycle – Awareness, boundaries & emotional re-alignment
17:10 ✅ Final thoughts & call-to-action – Toward true intimacy and self-respect

🔑 Hashtags

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