Self Advocacy Skills

HOW TO ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF
We don't think twice about speaking up for our friends or our children, but when it comes to advocating for ourselves, most women need a little practice. Author, Vikki Carrel, teaches practical skills for real life situations.

Why do I find it difficult to advocate for myself?
-Advocating for ourselves can be risky. We fear failure, rejection, or feelings of embarrassment. We want to avoid conflict!

What is self-advocacy?

Self-advocacy is understanding your strengths and needs - 'and effectively communicating' them to others.

Advocacy scenarios and skills:

1. Advocating at home - informal environment

Skill: Identify and define the request.

*Scenario- Mom asks children for help with the household chores.

-Keep requests simple. Provide a clear definition of your requests.

-Create a distraction free environment. The outcome will be more effective if you have your family's attention.

2. Advocating for a child at school - formal environment

Skills: Educate yourself and build expertise.

Separate passions from emotions.

*Scenario - Mom meets with the principal concerning her child's academic performance.

-Educate yourself about the situation, gather information and bring possible solutions. Time is limited and valuable - provide a clear definition of your request.

-Separate passions from emotions.

3. Advocating for yourself at the dentist office - formal environment

Skill: Find a mentor and create a bridge to the solution.

*Scenario - You are uncomfortable with the immodest dress of the dental hygienist.

-To avoid conflict; find a mentor to discuss the problem or concern. This helps you gather information and understand office policy.

-Create a bridge; in certain situations it is best that a person of authority relays the message of concern.

4. Advocating for yourself with your spouse - informal environment

Skills: Value yourself and relationships where you are equal.

Attitude is important.

*Scenario - Discussing a financial concern with your husband.

-Value yourself - remember body language is key. Be open and refrain from setting off emotional triggers.

-Your attitude is important - be kind but firm.

5. Advocating for yourself with a health care provider - formal environment

Skill: Recognize that you have a voice and your opinion counts.

*Scenario - Talking to your doctor about a health concern or problem.

-Recognize that your opinion counts - it is OK to ask questions and not agree with the advice of a professional.

-You have the right to seek other opinions or additional information before making a final decision.

Skills to advocate for yourself:

-Value yourself and relationships where you are equal.

-Recognize that you have a voice and that your opinion counts.

-Identify and define the problem.

-Educate yourself and build expertise.

-Separate passions from emotions.

-Find a mentor, create a bridge to the solution.

-Attitude is important - be kind but firm.

Vikki Carrel is an author, speaker and founder of The Empowerment Project.
www.vikkicarrel.com