Masking vs. Adapting: Friendship, Belonging, Being Yourself with Dr. Carolyn Parcells [Part 1]

Caroline sits down with pediatrician Dr. Carolyn Parcells to reframe the internet’s “masking” narrative. They unpack the difference between hiding your core self and skillfully adapting to the room — turning the volume up or down without abandoning your values, humor, or personality. Carolyn shares her early ADHD diagnosis at 17, what it was like to stand out at an all-girls school, and how supportive family and friends made all the difference.

You’ll hear concrete examples of real support in action — from a dad reading A Wrinkle in Time aloud while she followed along, to a residency book club that quietly chose audiobooks so everyone could participate. The conversation explores why neurotypical friends aren’t the enemy, how theater helped both hosts “read the room,” and how parent advocacy and a core circle of allies build resilience. Walk away with language for “adapting” instead of “masking,” plus a reminder to choose people who have your back.

Timestamps
00:00 Reframing masking as adapting and reading the room
00:30 Meet Dr. Carolyn Parcells and today’s focus on friendship
01:49 Early diagnosis, standing out at an all-girls school
02:40 School struggles and the “speedy math test” story
03:15 Family support — audiobooks, follow-along reading
04:06 Finding a core friend group and belonging
05:00 Neurotypical friends as allies, not adversaries
07:20 Adult friendships across neurotypes
08:50 Quiet accommodations: the audiobook book club
10:30 Balancing communities — conferences and everyday life
11:30 Theater skills: presence, timing, and reading the room
12:58 Adapting without hiding your core self
14:50 Bedside manner, empathy, and adjusting for others
16:50 Keeping your humor and values intact
18:10 Structure, activities, and belonging as protective factors
19:35 Girls and ADHD — visibility and misdiagnosis
20:50 Tough teacher moments and the messy desk story
21:40 Parent advocacy that builds resilience
23:40 Takeaways: choose supportive people, ditch the shame

Watch next
• How to be social with a hyperactive brain:    • ADHD Social Skills: How To Be Social With ...  
• How ADHD shows up in women and why it’s often missed:    • How ADHD Shows Up in Women and Why it’s Of...  
• The truth about ADHD stigma in 2025:    • Living with ADHD in 2025: The Reality of S...  

Resources
• CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder): https://chadd.org/
• ADDA (Attention Deficit Disorder Association): https://add.org/

Follow Caroline
• Website: https://carolinemaguireauthor.com/
• Instagram:   / authorcarolinem  
• Listen to The ADHD Social Playbook Podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2rm4vdy... -- and -- Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...

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