Former CIA Spy @Andrew-Bustamante Says Every Relationship Is Transactional

How do CIA spies detect lies, build trust fast, and navigate high-stakes relationships? Former covert officer ‪@Andrew-Bustamante‬ shares how the tools he used in espionage can transform your personal life.

From growing up in a turbulent family, to commanding U.S. nuclear missiles at 24, to being recruited into the CIA, Andrew’s story is a journey through power, secrecy, love, and identity. But beneath the training lies a deeper lesson: the same psychological skills designed for national security became the ones that saved his marriage and founded Everyday Spy, an online education platform that provides people with useful spy skills for everyday life.

As Andrew says: The CIA’s real superpower isn’t guns or gadgets - it’s learning how to systematise natural curiosity. In this conversation, he shares how those skills can change the way you connect, communicate, and build trust in everyday life.

You’ll learn:
◽How to tell if someone is lying
◽Why he cut off his girlfriend, friends, and family for the chance to join the CIA
◽The CIA method for building instant emotional trust
◽How to recognise when a relationship is starting to decline - and how to fix it
◽The hardest conversation of his life (and what it taught him about love)

Andrew Bustamante. We Need To Talk.

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00:00 Intro
02:13 How Can You Tell If Someone Is Lying?
05:27 Is Every Relationship Transactional?
19:42 Andrew's Checklist for Profiling Someone
24:12 Was Jeffrey Epstein a Government Asset?
29:13 Shopify Ad
30:16 Love Better Tour Ad
31:14 Andrew's Upbringing in Pennsylvania and Mixed-Race Heritage
33:45 Andrew's Relationship With His Biological Father
37:48 Andrew's Journey to the CIA
39:47 Life at a Military Academy
46:51 Andrew's Time as a Nuclear Missile Officer
50:21 Nuclear Proliferation
52:58 How Andrew Became a CIA Agent
1:12:21 Romantic Relationships Within the CIA
1:16:22 How Andrew Met His Wife During His Time at the CIA
1:21:44 Why Andrew Proposed to His Wife
1:26:55 Why Andrew Decided to Leave the CIA
1:32:09 Getting a Job After Being in the CIA
1:39:18 Is 'Sexpionage' a Real Method of Spying?
1:41:59 A Skill Andrew Learned in the CIA That Applies to Everyone
1:45:11 What Andrew Thinks the Future of the World Looks Like
1:46:46 What Is the Biggest Threat to the World?
1:47:59 What Is Andrew's Identity Today?
1:51:51 Most Memorable Conversation
1:56:06 Paul's Takeaways

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