JASON TAKES MANHATTAN ~ THE FIRST CLICKBAIT MOVIE

JASON TAKES MANHATTAN ~ THE FIRST CLICKBAIT MOVIE
JASON TAKES MANHATTAN ~ THE FIRST MOVIE TO CATFISH ITS AUDIENCE

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*Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan* (1989) is one of the most *gloriously false advertisements in horror history.* Jason doesn’t take Manhattan—he barely visits it. What he actually takes is a cruise ship, the patience of the audience, and roughly 80% of the movie's runtime spent floating on a budget version of the Titanic with a cast of future corpses.

Look, let’s be honest: by this point in the franchise, the writers were just *throwing darts at a map.* “What if Jason goes to space? Nah, not yet. What about Manhattan? Perfect. Let’s get him to New York!” And then they promptly *forgot to actually put him in New York* until the last 20 minutes.

But you know what? For all its clunky plotting, weird pacing, and the fact that Jason somehow teleports around like a slasher Roomba, this movie is weirdly fun if you lean into the nonsense.

The cruise ship section is pure Friday the 13th filler: silly teens, inexplicably bad decision-making, and Jason walking around the ship like he’s just trying to find the buffet. The kills? Still solid. Guitar to the face? Classic. Sauna rock to the chest? A+ creativity. Jason even knocks a guy’s head clean off with one punch on a Manhattan rooftop and it’s probably one of the *greatest moments in the entire franchise.*

When Jason finally gets to the city, it’s pure tourist-mode Jason: stalking through Times Square like he’s trying to catch a matinee, kicking over boom boxes, scaring punks with his zombie face, and *basically being the best unpaid street performer of 1989.* That single shot of Jason in Times Square? Worth it. That should’ve been the entire movie. Imagine Jason at a Yankees game. Jason on the subway. Jason trying to hail a cab. Missed opportunity, people.

The “ending” is… look, there’s toxic sludge, a random sewer flood, Jason turns into a little boy again, and none of it makes a lick of sense. Continuity? Gone. Logic? Sunk with the cruise ship.

*Part VIII* is a disaster, but it’s a beautiful disaster. It’s Friday the 13th on cruise control—ridiculous, frustrating, and somehow completely entertaining. It doesn’t live up to its own poster, but sometimes watching Jason awkwardly wander through a budget Love Boat is its own reward. You didn’t sign up for Shakespeare—you signed up to watch Jason punch a dude’s head off. And you got it.







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