Purim Rap: A Jewish Thrift Shop Parody (Purim Song)

Matt Rissien's Purim rap produced by Brian Fraze, a special thanks to CBS USY and Congregation Beth Shalom.

Matt Rissien is the Director of Youth Activities at Congregation Beth Shalom in Northbrook, IL. He spent last year working as a fellow at the American Hebrew Academy in Greensboro, NC. He also graduated from the University of Kansas, Go Jayhawks!

Please note that the original version of this song, "thrift shop," by Mackelmore, does contain explicit content; however an edited version is available online.

Lyrics:
I’m eating all the bags
Spend all the money inside my pocket
I-I-I’m lovin’, every year its comin,
Eating humantashen

Now I Walk into my shul, I’m like yeah right there’s a big box,
I’m so pumped about the humantashen I bought,
Put it in the fridge, I take out the ones with toffee,
My thoughts are like, man I could sure go for some coffee

Rollin dough, corners three, oven to the best degree,
Sisterhood bakes, chocolate chip it is the best for me,
Like the poppy best you see, theres a jelly next to me,
I probably gotta try this one, it smells like it’s a hershey (kissssss)
But wait, those are 99 cents!!!

Now theres one thing I Cant omit, I gotta have that choc-olate, and yes I’m eating all of it, Im drooling at the thought of it,
Ill buy em by the dozens, don’t matter what the cost it is, it’s only thirteen dollars, well yeah that’s a good bargain sitch


Imma eat your grandma’s now,
Imma eat your grandma’s now,
No for real- tell your grandma, I want some tashen right now

Mix oil with some water, and lots and lots of sugar,
Put the tashen in-then take em out, my tashen cooker
They had a tashen deal,
I bought the tashen deal
bought 5 to get one free, and then I got a free meal
(beat) hello, hello, this-prune one’s for my fellow,
Maybe I’ll try a small bite, but then again oh well no,
I could take last years ones, clean up up and sell those,
people wouldn’t even notice, at least until the mold grows,

Im eating all the bags
Spend all the money inside my pocket
I-I-I’m lovin, every year its comin,
Eating humantashen
(x2)

What you know bout Pu-rim, is the story in your noggin?
What you know chashvarosh was a king that rocked
(half pause) The king was digging, search to find a new queen,
Vashti was trash, so he hadda find a treasure,
Esther she was rad, and the king thought she was somethin,
But esther she was jewish, but to the king well that meant nothin,
Kings best man haman he’s the bad guy, he was really evil,
demanded bowing down to him for all the jewish people,
The plan b, that man he, exterminate the jews see,
He got the king to agree, hang jews for all to see,
Then vashti went to king, repped the jews like none other,
Achashverosh changed his mind and said haman is a sucker,
Bigtan and teresh make attempt at assassination,
Mordechai’s like wooooh, that’s a dumb decision

king heard about the acts from morechai the man,
And he held a special feast, invited haman had a plan,
Asked haman how to repay the closest of his clan,
haman thought it was he, said do everything you can
you should Put him on a horse and parade him all around,
dress him up in your clothes and let him wear your crown,
so mordechai was called, haman hung in the town,
and the Jews ain’t going nowhere cause we’re never backing down,

Im eating all the bags
Spending all the money inside my pocket
I-I-I’m lovin’, every year its comin,
Eating humantashen

Hat has 3 corners so,
Every year now we go,
And eat those tashen yo,
From the synagogue down the road

Im eating all the bags
Spending all the money inside my pocket
I-I-I’m lovin’, every year its comin,
Eating humantashen