The Weight of My Own Silence - Maximas Wolf (Read Desc.)

This isn't just any normal song. This is my silent cry for help.

I am a man that is forced to carry many burdens that I cannot say. Whether they are the burdens of my friends and family, or even my own, I can't speak.

I am a 22-year-old man. I am the Guardian of my family and friends. I live by a sort of creed that me and my original friend group from when I was little had made for the Guardians of the group.

"Silently we will suffer. Quietly we will endure. And we will carry every burden."

Well, at 22 years old, these burdens get heavy, pointless even. There are times when you finally want to yell and scream out, tears pouring down your face and yell at everyone that's close to you and just say "My burdens are heavy enough! Your problems are as heavy as splinters while mine are heavy like worlds!"

You want to lash out, break free, and just collapse and shatter. This isn't just a song. This is my silent scream for help because I don't know how to ask for it.

Growing up, I was pretty much forced to teach myself. My birth dad was a dead-beat druggy who was always either doing crystal meth or sitting in prison. My stepdad was always working or sitting in his garage drinking bear, working on projects, or even going out shooting with his friends. My mom was always struggling to feed us kids and starving herself because she always felt like she was overweight or even because there wasn't enough food to feed everyone, so she starved herself to feed us kids.

Being a 22-year-old man and looking back now is bringing me to tears now.

And with that, I really didn't know how to ask for help when I was forced to carry my family's burdens silently. Quietly I cried while hugging my dug, praying for better days to come for us all.

I'm still the Guardian though. I still carry everyone's burdens; I still silently suffer and quietly endure. My friends come to me with their problems, and I hold them close and comfort them.

I've been cracking, they've noticed it. they all have. But I just smiled and kept it hidden under my smile. But now... I'm shattering slowly.



This isn't just a song anymore... This is my desperate cry, my silent scream for help.