The Diary Of a Certified Cychopath - Off The Crank 61

A dry lubed chain of chance happenings, random experiences, and arbitrary occurrences….all invariably leading to open ended conclusions. Some entirely fictional, others founded loosely on events that are believable enough to be true in the context of an average urban legend, with the odd subtle exaggeration for humours effect.

Amidst these observational and reflective recounts may reside a small proportion of curated news 🗞️ stories extracted from the pages of our local journal “The Night Critter’s Gazette”, a far more dependable platform for wholesome hype and half-baked rumours than any available via Apple’s cherry picked and highly toxic grapevine. A paid service which, by jarring contrast treats its premium subscribers to an eternal litany of titillating headlines, and charges them the equivalent of five freshly brewed Double Espressos per month for the privilege of reading any beyond their provocative opening paragraphs.

The core content of these quant literary vignettes was deemed too “conventional” or even “vloggy” by nature to be suitable for inclusion within any of its author’s ride-related diary entries, but still formed a pivotal enough part of life‘s everyday cycle to be worthy of publication as “cognitive” therapy, rather than be left abandoned by the kerbside.

Feel free to gear down and curate a personalised playlist that will help pedal your restless subconscious gently into the slumber zone as efficiently as any ‘fast acting’ medicinal remedy…including all those available via prescription at the responsible behest of a licensed GP…or stashed beneath the counter at your closest high-street chemist, awaiting Big Pharma’s approval as the next miracle cure for insomnia, sleep paralysis, and 100 other profitable ailments.