S6 E7: Sex Communication: If You’re Not Talking, You’re Guessing (ft. Elizabeth Ashford)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified holistic sex educator and Beyond the Beez founder Elizabeth Ashford for a deeply practical, funny, and no-BS conversation about talking during sex—and why silence, shame, and faking orgasms are some of the biggest barriers to good sex. From dirty talk and giving direction to toys, lube, boundaries, aftercare, and post-sex debriefs, this episode is a masterclass in how communication transforms intimacy, pleasure, and connection.

In this episode, Alexa and Elizabeth discuss:
Why silence during sex creates insecurity and confusion
Dirty talk vs simply communicating during sex
Using your voice for pleasure, direction, and curiosity
Why most people struggle to talk during sex
Cultural shame, lack of sex education, and sexual confidence
Finding your sexual voice and understanding your desires
Why dirty talk looks different for everyone
Trauma, shame, BDSM experience, and comfort levels with dirty talk
Blending dirty talk with practical direction
Giving feedback without killing the mood
Starting with positive reinforcement before giving direction
How safety makes sexual communication easier
How faking orgasms reinforces bad sex habits
Why honesty leads to better long-term sex
The orgasm gap and why penetration alone isn’t enough
Why partners need to genuinely care about your pleasure
Oral sex as a baseline expectation, not a bonus
“Non-eaters” as a dealbreaker
Curiosity as the foundation of good sex
Sex worth having vs sex worth avoiding
Starter phrases for people new to dirty talk
Keeping dirty talk simple and natural
Compliments during sex and feeling desired
Post-sex communication and debriefing
Aftercare beyond cuddling
Talking about what worked and what didn’t
Porn, audio erotica, and learning language for desire
Erotic menus and yes/maybe/no frameworks
Borrowing phrases instead of reinventing dirty talk

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2602-alexa

Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈