Metal Slug 2: Final Mission (Level 8)

Difficulty: Level 8. No cheats used.

Oh dear god Metal Slug 2 Mission 6. Oh dear god this mission.

OH DEAR GOD WHY.

It's no secret that one life runs of Metal Slug games require a bit of luck: from weapon drops, to hoping random shit doesn't spawn and kill you at the edge of the screen, hoping the boss doesn't use certain attacks when you're out of position, etc. I've always done runs knowing these facts full well, and I've always restarted my runs when I die. Metal Slug 2. METAL SLUG 2. Mission 1-4? Piss easy. Mission 5? Eh, can get annoying at times, but with strategy, I can manage.

Mission 6? HAR HAR HAR.

There are NO failsafe strategies to clearing MS2 Mission 6. There is NO way to guarantee yourself to not die. There is NO way to predict what the many periodically spawning enemies are going to attack with. There are about 5 sections in this mission ALONE that requires a lot of luck to pass in one life for me (The wavy bridge section, Allen O' Neil, the first Grinda-O tank, both final boss phases). I literally needed all the stars to line up correctly, or I'm re recording starting from Mission 1. Yeah, it was horrible. And yes, my life is empty enough to attempt this, for months and MONTHS on end.

Okay, so Mission 6. Let's review it IN DETAIL. Okay, so we start with a pistol. Sure, we do that every mission. Hell, this is Metal Slug 2! You know, the game that treats dying as a slap on the wrist, and allows you to stock around 500+ HMG ammo if you don't die? Well, I got my first power gun pickup FOUR MINUTES into the mission! That's longer than I took to clear Mission 1, with intro and outro! Four minutes is like, 4/15th of the whole mission (according to time).

The way bridge section... this is where the developers reveal that, hey, in actuality, they really, really hate you. There's the sheer unpredictability of the section: paratroopers can spawn anywhere and kill your airbourne ass without warning. Rebels from the other end of the bridge attack you as fast as their animations would allow for. They throw 3 types of projectiles with excellent synergy, interchangeably. And they spawn such that at any given moment there will be 2 on screen until you literally kill them all off. Oh and in case it wasn't obvious enough already, the undulating and constantly moving ground makes dodging AND aiming your attacks damn near impossible: all you can do is to just mash A like crazy and hope it kills the rebels before they get too many attacks off.

Also Allen 'O Neil. In Metal Slug 1, chances are you'd have a Heavy Machine Gun to face him. Metal Slug X, Iron Lizard or the HMG. Metal Slug 3? Freaking Slug vehicles. Metal Slug 4? HMG and firebombs. Metal Slug 7, Slug Gigant. Metal Slug 2? lol pistol lol good luck lol. Oh and mooks to accompany him, because someone that can take 90 .50 Calibre headshots to the skull without even the cushioning of hair needs backup against a dude with a pistol. Freaking genius.

After getting through MORE tricky terrain, you meet Martians for the first time. Now generally they're okay to deal with; just crouch at the corner of a screen and melee their projectiles away. But the melee attacks in Metal Slug 2 is quite poorly programmed to deal with these high speed situations. I always animation cancel myself out of melee strikes and die, or I execute it, HEAR the swish of the melee attack connecting, but die to the projectile I meleed away anyway. Oh and the Martians can attrack in mid air without warning. Pass by one floating in the air and you could very well die. Oh and they give you 2 Shotgun crates, because it's fun to tempt players, apparently. I would pay good money to see someone bring a substantial amount of Shotgun ammo to the boss fights on level 8. Believe me.

And the BOSS BATTLES. Yeah, I recognise that this is an arcade game and developers get more money the more times they kill you. But this I feel should be NO EXCUSE to rely on cheap attacks. The fights are literally undoable without a high stockpile of grenades and curbstomping. It's not fun nor fair. Bosses that spawn minions that have more HP than a Metal Slug attack can deal, fires aimed shots that travel faster than you can run, should NEVER be a good idea. I don't care if they drop lasers. They could drop the months I wasted into practicing and attempting this run and I still wouldn't approve of their existence.

At least the final boss was epic. *grumble grumble*. And the CREDITS. What cocksucking attempt was that at crediting the developers that made this mostly awesome game? Black screen, text floating upwards, insignificant music? And not even a "PEACE FOREVER" text to congratulate us for clearing the game? Either that's a nerfed ending with a "proper" one as some insane unlockable, or the developers really didn't want credit. Shame really, since Metal Slug 1 had quite the sweet credit roll.

I still can't believe I 1 life cleared this game on video. I still can't.