Program in C (Full Version) feat.

Inspired by Kaslai's video (which was itself inspired by a tweet):    • Program in C  

Lyrics:
Ariel, listen to me.
OO languages?
It's a mess.
Programming in C is better than anything they've got over there!

The syntax might seem much sweeter where objects and subtypes play.
But frills like inheritance will only get in the way.
Admire C's simple landscape - efficiently dangerous!
No templates or fancy pitfalls like Java and C++!


Program in C!
Program in C!
Pointers, assembly, manage your memory with malloc() and free()!
Don't sink your app with runtime bloat, software in C will stay afloat!
Do what you want there, close to the hardware, program in C!

With C all the coders' happy
As its all procedural
The dudes with .NET ain't happy
They forgot to call Stream.Dispose()
They like to think they so lucky
Their runtime will clean the act
But when you abuse the memory
You're bottlenecked, that's a fact!

Oh well, program in C!
Program in C!
Nobody's faster
-O2's the master
Indubitably!
We what the coders like to roast
But they don't have a lot to boast
Pure satisfaction,
Little abstraction,
Program in C! (program in C!)
Program in C! (program in C!)

Neither exceptions,
nor your contemption,
can bother me! (can bother me!)
Windows and Linux demonstrate,
Portable code is runnin' great!
There's implementations,
For all occasions,
Program in C!!

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