冰冷的亲密关系 Why do we need to cool down intimacy? | 奕斐 沈 | TEDxLujiazui

女性说：“我爱你清澈的双眸，但我更爱你双眸中独特的自己。”因为，女性通过爱情来寻找自我意识。男性说：“我爱你美丽的容貌和性感的身材，但我更爱自由和征服的感觉。”因为，男性通过爱情来印证男子气概。两性的爱情基础并不相同 － 当激情冷却，感性之外，我们要如何智慧而理性地维护一份亲密关系？
Women say “I love your eyes, but what I love more is the special ‘me’ in your eyes.” Because women are seeking for their self-awareness through relationship. Men say “I love kissing your beautiful face, but what I love more is kissing more beautiful faces.” Because men are seeking for masculinity through relationship. Different case scenarios for relationship explains different (psychological) needs of men and women. In this mind-expanding talk, Professor Shen shares how we sustain long-term relationships by cooling down from passion. 沈教授是复旦大学家庭发展研究中心主任，致力于性别研究和家庭研究。
After a long career in psychology and education, Professor Shen became the director of Family Development Research Center of Fudan University and has developed it as a platform for identifying and empowering relationships between genders and in family. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx