Why you can fight against narcissistic abuse but still feel bad

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Why you can fight against narcissistic abuse but still feel bad

Online Support Group for Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse
I am creating 2 online support groups for survivors of narcissistic abuse. The goal is to generate a sense of safety and support with others who have survived this form of mistreatment and are seeking to recover. We will also focus on supporting each person's strivings outside the group.
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Today’s video addresses the experience of survivors of narcissistic abuse who often stood up to and fought against the narcissistic abuse yet can feel negatively towards themselves. This topic comes from a comment on last week’s video:

“I get confused by this paradigm because I most certainly did NOT submit to my scapegoat role and I remember having a very clear understanding that I was being mistreated. I started fighting back young, around 6 or 7, and it gradually increased until puberty when I became completely belligerent toward both parents. Despite this, the message that I was defective and broken still made it to my core and I don’t understand how that happened. I feel like I failed myself. I feel like if I had been more humble than the abuse would have affected me less. I guess it proves how we criticize ourselves no matter what path we chose. The fact that no one ever mentions victims fighting back also makes me worried that something is wrong with me.”

I think this comment is a very important one and I hope today’s video can offer some explanation as to how a child has very little choice but to absorb his/her family’s attitude towards him/her in order to share a reality with them. Once that shared reality is in place then the overt ways of responding may be chosen tactically because they afford the best shot at survival while taking on the least amount of damage.

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Here is the Recovery from narcissistic abuse playlist:
   • Narcissistic Abuse Recovery:  The process ...  

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