Ballad of John and Fred

TMON-83: The Myth of Normal, Chapter 25, Song 2
Alex Hickey ©2025
Click "More" and SCROLL DOWN FOR LYRICS!

This song is based on information in Chapter 25 of The Myth of Normal, a book written by Dr. Gabor Maté with Daniel Maté. You can find more information about this book on Dr. Maté's website: https://drgabormate.com/book/the-myth-of-n...

I am writing a series of songs in response to the ideas in this book, sometimes in combination with ideas from other books by Dr. Maté and some of his colleagues.

These are my interpretations of these ideas. I acknowledge that I can make mistakes, misunderstand and/or take poetic license when transforming these ideas into songs. I welcome questions in the comments section and refer you to the book itself as the final authority about what it is saying.

Lyrics:
I’ll tell you a story
Of hospital roommates
Let’s call them John and Fred
Both were just lying there
Day after day
Too sick to get out of bed

With similar lives
Both close to retirement
No one can tell me it’s fair
For cancer to come
And strike them both suddenly
That’s how they wound up in there

And day after day,
Between family visits
They’re talking the hours away
Not much else to do
But share their points of view
Let’s hear what they have to say.

John finds himself curious
Thinks of his life
Acknowledges how he has suffered
How trauma and pain
Made him hide away
And disconnect from others

Though time may be short
His days may be few
He thinks it’s not too late to learn
When his family visits,
He’s making amends
Building back bridges long burned

He thinks of the beauty
in the world around him
And he lets it in to his heart
And he may be nearing the end – it’s uncertain
But he’s remembering how tender
Life felt at the start

Now Fred on the other hand
Feels like a victim
All he can think is “Why me?”
When his family visits,
He mostly resents them
Withdrawn and sullen and cranky

All that he knows is he wants to survive
And tough is the way that gets done
He never asks himself
what he’s surviving for
If life has no joy and no fun

He is barely
within his own life
He’s just a shell of a man
Sometimes it’s hard to remember,
Like everyone,
He’s doing the best that he can

Both men had surgery and chemotherapy
And the day comes when Fred’s is discharged
Home to the same old, frozen relationships
And the job that he hates with all of his heart.

John is not cured, he is still in his bed
But he knows what’s lost has been found
This is the moment for tender farewells
With peace in his heart and his family all ‘round.

What can I tell you?
One was healed but not cured,
The other was cured but not healed
These separate processes
Take place independently
When both happen together, well,
That is ideal

Cure is the elimination of disease
And we’re grateful when our bodies thrive
Healing is the process of returning to wholeness
And that’s what makes us able to be truly alive.

#gabormate #healing #cure