ASHES (showcase & verification) Solo XL Extreme Demon

13,007 attempts, 13 months, and hundreds of hours, I am so happy to finally share this all with you!

I don't have much to compare it to, but for a difficulty estimate, much harder than my previous hardest Artificial Ascent, probably around 90-110 if I had to put it somewhere

Now, apologies for the lag, if you think 306k objects is a lot, before optimizations, it was around 450k :v

Song: ashes_3.1
By: OMNIPONY



Okay, slight warning for the stuff below.

What an absolute arc this project has been for me. What started as just another layout, around the time I had started decorating, turned into something I was dependent on. Working on this level was my main outlet to distract myself from all the, to put it as nicely as I can, very, very harmful and dangerous thoughts about my life and myself I was having. I was in an extremely unhealthy state of mind. I have since been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, mainly from past trauma, and despite being trapped in it with no help for over half a year, thanks to therapy over the last few months, I have been doing so much better.

That's exactly what this level became to me, and what it's about. That despite the ashes of your past, whatever they may be, there is a way forward, and things will get better as soon as you start that path. That is exactly part of why I made this, so that others can know. Even if it's just one person who has one little bit of something from this, it is entirely worth it to me.

I know this isn't the best, most fun, or most beautiful level, but that was never what it was supposed to be. I know it seems goofy to put all this importance on some dumb level in the four-dollar square game, but this was all I was holding on to. There was a point when I planned to end everything as soon as I finished this. Thankfully, I am well past that mindset, and have not had any thoughts like that for a while now :)

Please, if you are struggling with ANYTHING, seek help. I was afraid to open up, very afraid. Therapy has basically been my first time really talking about any of my issues. Here's a little tip, in case any of you are having the same problem, going to someone and seeking help does not burden them. It tells them you trust them. Just be smart about who you go to.

All that said, take care of yourself, and try to enjoy what you can :)


Transcription of the text at the end:
"Ashes is a really important song to me now
this is all kinda what I associate with it now
In the best way possible
The first bit is sorta like all the hatred I have for all of those people who took advantage of me
but then it changes in the second part, which to me
kinda feels like continuously realizing the effects it's had on me
and trying to come to terms with it
also meeting you, and you helping me
and the final ambient-ish part is when I finally come to peace with it all
I haven't gotten there yet
but I think I will one day
I want to get over the ashes of my past as well"
From a conversation with a close friend back in October of 2021