Why Are Gay Friendships So Hard? (And How to Make Them Better)

For many gay men, friendship is complicated, performative, and sometimes downright painful. We crave genuine connection but end up navigating cliques, comparison, and quiet loneliness.

In this episode, Michael and Pepper (@thegaygood) are doing an exposé on gay friendships to unpack what’s really going on beneath the surface and why so many gay friendships fall short of the depth and safety we actually want.

We’re breaking it down in three parts:

👬 The Pretty Lies: Performative friendship, superficiality, and toxic group dynamics
👬 The Ugly Truth: How shame, fear, and survival strategies get in the way of true friendship
👬 True Friendship: What fun, nourishing gay friendship looks like and how we can build it

This episode is your invitation to shift from followers to friendship, and from competition to collaboration—and start building real connection.

Related Episodes:
◾Making Friends (introvert edition) -    • Making Friends: Introvert Edition  
◾How to Make Friends with Gay Men -    • How To Make Friends: Navigating Platonic C...  

Today's Guest:
◾Pepper Rojas
Instagram -   / thegaygood  

Today's Host:
◾Michael Diiorio
Website - https://www.wellismo.com/
Instagram -   / wellismo_coach  

00:00 Introduction
04:28 What Gets in the Way of Fostering True Gay Friendship?
23:46 Why Many Gay Friendships Stay Surface-Level or Performative?
36:20 Truly Nourishing Gay Friendship
41:31 One Thing That Nurtured the Level of Depth of Intimacy with Friends
55:27 Outro

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This is a conscious community for gay men to connect with each other on the journey of healing from shame and becoming more authentic and aligned to their truth. We aim to offer inspiration, support, connection, healing, and a safe space to show up just as you are. Our vision for the members is to learn to feel more comfortable showing up vulnerably so deeper intimacy can be established in our community. We dream of a gay community where everyone can feel more connected to one another in more ways than just superficial and we can feel less lonely and have deeper connections to one another.

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