Fartmageddon

Band: Red Scare
Album: Aural Sects
Song: Fartmageddon
Steve "Lurchy" Vincent
[c] Copyright 2025

Lyrics:
The clock keeps ticking, I’m stuck in a bind,
Sweat on my brow, I’m losing my mind.
Tummy’s rumbling, a symphony of doom,
I really need to find a shitter soon.

There it is I just had to fart,
I’ve raised anal stinkage to a whole new art.
When I pass gas, I clear the room,
Everybody runs from the air of doom.

My legs are crossed, I’m a nervous wreck,
I might hang my ass right over the deck.
This is serious, I’m calling code brown,
Get in my way, you’re gettin’ a beat down.

I gotta drop a deuce, this ain’t a drill,
I’m pinching a loaf, the pot’s getting filled.
I’m walking fast, no time to chat,
I might even have to drop it in my hat!

My legs are crossed, I’m a nervous wreck,
I might hang my ass right over the deck.
This is serious, I’m calling code brown,
Get in my way, you’re gettin’ a beat down.

Get outta my way, I gotta take a dump,
My pants are gonna hold a great big lump.
Beans, sometimes, are good for your heart,
But other times, they really make you shart.

The aroma from my ass is getting ripe,
My anus is primed for laying pipe.
My steps are quick, and I stay strong
The porcelain throne is where I’m droppin’ my log.

Satisfaction had, I breathe a sigh,
My prayers were answered from on high.
I wipe my ass with clean precision,
Acting with haste was a good decision.

My legs are crossed, I’m a nervous wreck,
I might hang my ass right over the deck.
This is serious, I’m calling code brown,
Get in my way, you’re gettin’ a beat down.