zayn malik │ high hopes

This is not a goodbye, my darling, this is a thank you.

Dear Zayn,

i know you probably will never see this video nor will you ever read this, but this is still my way to handle my feelings. How do you sort your feelings when you can't tell what's reality and what's imagination? How do you believe in something when you aren't sure anymore in what to believe in? That's why i choosed to stay where i am, inbetween dream and reality and to just believe in you. Because that's where i stood for the last 5 years and that's where i'll always feel safe.

I don't wanna talk about you leaving because i don't know the true story. I don't know what's going on behind the scenes and i don't know what's going on in your heart and i know i'm longing for answers but this doesn't matter because all what matters is you, Zayn. I'll be forever grateful for everything you shared with us these past few years. I was able to grow up with you, i changed with you over the past few years. You shared your passion and love for music with us and i hope that whatever you may do in the future you'll find that passion again because i have the feeling you might have lost it on the road.

You made history and you gave us so much love with just standing on stage, singing for us, smiling with us, dancing with us, living for us. Thank you for the pleasure, Zayn. These moments are something no one can ever take away from us and i will always treasure them endlessly.

You gave me inspiration, we shared happiness and euphoria and also sadness with you and all we've been through together as a team lead me to sit here today and to be able to say that i'm so proud of you, Zayn. I know you've gone through a lot of disgusting things and it had been difficult sometimes because living in the spotlight is not easy. But you always came back to us, defending us, never turned your back on us. And that's saying everything about you and your big and strong and brave heart. You grew up to such a loving man and that's why all i wish for is that you'll be happy and that you'll able to be yourself in the future. You deserve to be alright more than anyone else.

Please don't forget that you always have a place to come back to when you're willing and ready. You'll always have a big and special place in our hearts and the stage will always be a second home if you want it to be. And even when you choose to go your own way now Zayn then this is okay, more than okay. Whatever makes you happy and wherever your heart leads you to will be good for you and that's whats important. And i'll always be right here supporting you whatever choice you'll make.

And i know people can be rude, but always remember that you saved a million of hearts, a million of lives. That you were for some people the reason to not give up and to go on. That you gave people strength and that you proved them that the most important thing is to be honest to yourself, to not change and to fight for dreams you're dreaming. And that's what i want to tell you now. Don't change, be honest to yourself. Be yourself and be happy, be happy with yourself and whatever it needs for this: take it.
Think about yourself for once.

Follow your heart, Zayn. And wherever it leads you, i'll follow you there if you want me to.

I miss you like everyday but i'm sure to see you again soon.

All love,
Emily.


song: kodaline - high hopes

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