The Short Movie You Never Asked For in 4K! Antelao – Fanes – Gran Cir

Welcome to a thrilling episode of “Why Do I Keep Putting Myself Through This?” – where I combine my love for mountains, handstands, and questionable decision-making. This time, I dragged myself up some of the Dolomites' most breathtaking mountains: Antelao, Fanes (Kreuzkofelscharte), and Gran Cir.

Spoiler alert: the handstands were awesome—just not all on the summits, because, you know, survival.

Antelao – “The King of the Dolomites” (3,264m)
King? Eh, more like the cranky landlord that’s constantly yelling at you to get off his lawn. Antelao has a bit of a reputation for being one of the Dolomites’ most dangerous mountains (although not technically difficult), which I thought was exaggerated—until I found out it wasn’t. I started the tour after a night at the bivouac next to Rifugio Galassi (2,018m—a 2 and a half hour hike from San Vito di Cadore), blissfully unaware of the existential crisis waiting for me, mostly because of the thin layer of powder snow and ice, which arrived very early this season.

First, I encountered La Bala, a charming little ice-coated ledge that made me reflect on all my life choices. How bad could it be, right? Well, let’s just say “sketchy” is putting it kindly. But I soldiered on, because what’s a mountain adventure without questioning your own sanity?

Next up was the lower part of “Le Laste,” a 45-degree stone slope that was surprisingly manageable—meaning I wasn’t actively considering writing a will. Even the much-feared “Canalino Lindemann” was actually quite easy to overcome. I even got cocky enough to think I’d be doing a celebratory handstand on the peak. Ah, optimism. It’s cute, isn’t it?

“Yes! I’ve got this!”

But then, the upper part of “Le Laste” showed up like that uninvited guest at a party that ruins everything.Picture this: a ski slope, but make it vertical—50-degree angles (maybe more!), powdered snow, ice, and just for fun, a few loose stones. Under all that? Solid rock. At first, I gave it my best shot, thinking my crampons would dig in. They didn’t. Halfway up, I realized that my chances of sticking this climb were about as good as winning the lottery… twice. And descending? Let’s just say I didn’t fancy the idea of sliding down a 50-degree ice ramp into oblivion.

At that point, I did what every adventurer with a grain of sanity would do—I switched to Plan B. Instead of a triumphant handstand on the summit, I pulled off a pretty sweet one next to “Le Laste” and “Canalino Lindemann.” No peak handstand this time, but hey, I like to think of it as a lesson in survival (and good judgment).

And for those of you thinking, “Come on, a little snow and ice never hurt anyone!”—well, two Italian guys did summit that day. Not only that, they came the day before on bicycles from Venice (160 km away, by the way), climbing 1,700 meters of altitude, before hiking to the same bivouac where I stayed. So kudos to them and my honest respect. I’ll be back for Antelao next summer, once the snow and ice have decided to stop trying to murder me.

Fanes (Kreuzkofelscharte, 2,612m) & Gran Cir (2,592m)?
Don’t worry, this isn’t all about my epic failure on Antelao. I did manage some handstands that didn’t involve me flirting with death. These peaks? Total walk in the park. Literally. They were such a breeze that I’m not even going to bore you with the details. Let’s just say if you enjoy keeping your underwear clean while taking in jaw-dropping views, these hikes are for you. No death-defying ledges, no “Oh god, why am I here?” moments—just chill vibes, pretty peaks, and some sweet handstands.

Oh, and to make up for the Antelao disaster, I threw in some slow-motion shots to really hammer home the “I’m an action star” vibe. Because when the action itself falls short, cinematic flair can always save the day. Enjoy my over-dramatic footage of not dying, and remember—sometimes, the peak is overrated.