The Wee Man Vs Mako (Chip Shop Rap Battle)

LYRICS

The Wee Man

Mmmmm taste the fishy flavour,
Settle doon buddy I'm doin' you a favour,
You're like a hairy bitch that's goin' into labour,
Nurse! Fetch my razor, think I'll have to shave her!

Got a hunch you think your lunch,
Is dining out the healthy way,
You canny munch a pizza crunch,
And call it one of your five a day.

Put the fish on the dish, before you get much fatter,
I've haddock up to here with you, I don't want to hear your patter,
Be COLLIDING with you fast enough to make you ANTI-MATTER,
HADRON if I were you, I'm conCERNed you'll get battered.

You'll need to find another fried cuisine distributor,
Cos of the chip on my shoulder I'll administer,
Portions of aggravated assault and vinegar,
Man it's hard to rhyme words similar to vinegar.

Mako

What the hells your problem mucker, dont be standing next to me
you stink of pee and tbh you look as if your pits have fleas
mate your noggin's crawlin, have you shit to do but piss and bleed
protect your green inKAYCE ONE of those NITYs gets in your WEED
see at 1st i lived in greenend then grew up around fae parnell
a sky diver aint much, but i wouldnae waste that on chantelle
cause shes a clatty mingin manky stinkin trampy midden skanky bitch
a mawkit boufin howlin howfin munter wae a fanny itch
this aint magic tricks or broomsticks, thats a story which
doesnt show what happens til after i catch this golden snitch
i detect this neddy dreg avoids bein put to the test
cause paper cuts fae my revision leaves rough drafts in his neck
so i kick back and i make plans and just laugh when he shakes hands
then bounce on his fuckin head like a thrash bush rave dance
listen knob this chippy shop gamble just left you short chipped
so i"ll chip shot bricks and rocks til the point that the shop walls chip
im a problem kid but your veins are too hollow to hawd your stash
and so your scar decends fae an over aggressive GORBAL rash
listen, i"ll diagnose you as a tagalong
and prescribe your burning heart wae a knife coated in gaviscon
then say what you want, the fact is you'll never own your soul
so fuck back to back this cunts more back to front than torah scrolls