5 Signs You Are Over Your Ex

Clay Andrews examines 5 signs you are over your ex. If you like what we are doing in these videos, you'd probably love our book over at http://modernlove.life/book

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If you're trying to figure out how to know if you are over your ex or not, it can sometimes be confusing and sometimes be completely the opposite of how it actually seems to feel in the moment.

This video is the 5th part of a series on getting over your ex. If you've watched the previous 4 videos, you should have a general sense of the signs you are over him or her.

First, you are out of the initial meltdown stage, where your emotions are seemingly all over the place. It should be pretty obvious, that if you still feel intense levels of sadness, depression, anger, frustration, or anything in between that you are not over your ex yet.

Secondly, there is the over-invested stage. Here your mind is constantly thinking about your ex. Here you are not over your ex because your ex is taking up so much real estate in your mind.

Third, is when you're starting to feel better and your thoughts aren't racing about your ex so much, but your emotions are very volatile. This is a sign that you aren't over your ex yet because you're still recalibrating emotionally after the breakup. This can also be a very tricky time because you may easily end up in rebound relationships or backsliding to one of the earlier stages in the process. Getting over an ex is about balancing out your emotions, not having extreme emotions to one extreme or the other.

Fourth is if you are using dating or relationships to fulfill any need for validation, such as validation from family, from friends, from social media. Validation from your ex. Or validation from men or women in general. All of these are ways that we are unable to bring 100% of ourselves to the present moment to be with the person that we are dating or in a relationship with. And this is one of the signs you are not over your breakup yet.

Fifth, the focus of today's video, is if you are able to overcome all of these things, and you are able to be completely present with another person without it being about your ex, without it being about some arbitrary metric you have in your mind, without it being some intense emotional reactions, or anything else. If you can do that then you are over your ex and over your breakup, and you are 100% emotionally available.