Paroxysm Projekt - Strength In Decline

Lyrics:

I draw in a breath,
I know that I rise
But the stoked fire is dim
Behind these heavy eyes

My pulse beats a rhythm,
An odd, fragile design
I sometimes question the strength
Of this spirit of mine

I mourn for a journey
I never embarked
For the fires I built
That stayed warm in the dark

A library full of the stories unread
And the phantom of dreams
That dance in my head.

I press my palm
To the cold window pane
Tracing the path
Of the chill and the rain
I can feel my bones
"Please ignore the ache..."

Just peering out windows,
A silent detailed view
Wondering what shading,
What beautiful vibrant hue
Would color my soul

If I stepped through the glass
If I let the heavy paralysis pass

To look in a window,
To gaze inside your heart
To finish the painting
I've yet to start.

But the shadows are lengthening,
Spreading their symbiotic vine
I’m fighting a war that is strictly divine

Despite the erosion,
The steep, sharp decline
I whisper the mantra:
"I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine."

I banish the fear
To the back of the circus line
Pay you no mind,
Pay the darkness no mind

I am broken yet glowing holy,
All intertwined.
Part of some grand design,
It has to be...

I preach to the mirror
At the break of the day
That the river must flow
In a specific way

We are bound by the physics,
The mortal constraints

By the patience of sinners
And the silence of saints
And that finicky, trickster,
Elusive thing—Time
It commits the most subtle
And violent crime

It tells us we’re wealthy,
With hours to spend
While hiding the fact
That we near the end.
​
We hoard up our minutes
Like gold in a chest
Believing tomorrow
Will bring us the rest

"Tomorrow," we whisper,
A manifest to the dawn
Until we wake up
And the moment is gone

Maybe tomorrow the body will heal
Maybe tomorrow
Faint illusions becomes real

But the sand in the glass
Doesn't bargain or wait
It falls through the neck
At a merciless rate.

I look at you standing,
A guard at the door
And I wonder just what
You are waiting here for

I want better for you
Than this hospital gloom
Than the medicine air
Filling up every room

So many have never visited,
Feeling hurried and brief
Unable to shoulder
The weight of this grief

They faded like mist
When the morning sun shone
Leaving me here in the quiet, alone.
But it's okay, I promise it is okay.
I'll be here another day.
​
You remain fixed
Like a rock in the stream
While I am drifting inside of a dream
I will get through this,
The pain and the rue
Not by just my strength,
But in credit to you—just you.

This is a debt
That my soul has incurred
A promise kept silent,
Requiring no word, no repayment

I’ll pay it all forward,
In spirit and deed
Planting the grace
Of your love like a seed.
​
I whisper the mantra:
"I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine."

I banish the fear
To the back of the line
Pay you no mind,
Pay the darkness no mind
I am broken yet glowing holy,
All intertwined.
​
I wake with relief
That the night has withdrawn
Grateful to see
The pale gray of the dawn
And I go to my rest,
Letting go of the scare

Just knowing you’re watching,
Just knowing you care.

It’s the holiest feeling,
A scent for the air
To be loved in the ruin,
To be stripped and laid bare
And find that the universe
Answers my prayer...

Isn't it interesting?
So very intricate and interesting..
Life isn't always so dark and unfair.
​