“Who Am I?” - Reigna Hels, 2021, Winter Assembly

“Who Am I” is an original poem written by Reigna Hels that was published into the 2019 release of NNHS’s Vertigo, and has since been performed as a spoken word piece.

Who Am I?

It’s a constant struggle between white and black,
quite literally and metaphorically.
The fight over who I truly am.
Who am I?
Who gets to make that choice?
Society? School? Family?
Me?
I am a black woman and I am proud.
My hair reaches for the sun that kissed my skin and refused to let go because I was that sweet.
I am a white woman too
And don’t you dare tell me I have to choose or that I have to maneuver my way into the labels that the world’s small mind has created, because I simply won’t fit
Yes I am biracial,
but I am so much more than that.
I am the fruit of cultures blending and growing and becoming one.
I am a step towards a better future, I am living breathing proof that Dr.King's dream came true, and when you think about it it’s truly magical.
Slavery ended only 7 resilient mothers ago.
Is that not crazy to you?
Within seven generations my people have broken free just to be enslaved in invisible chains all over again but we have prevailed.
And while we continue to prosper and grow and make sure the world knows our history they are still trying to hold us back.
And it’s hard, because when you draw the line where am I supposed to go?
I am black,
And my life matters,
and I will fight until the end if that’s what it takes to keep my brothers from being the still bodies on the streets.
But I am white too,
and my light skin brings me privileges that my dark skinned brothers and sisters can only imagine.
And in all of this I am biracial.
I stand for more representation.
I stand to break the stereotypes.
I wake up and I breathe and I strive to reach goals unachieved before so my sisters don’t have to face the same invasive questions I did as a child.
I draw a line so no one dare asks to touch her beautiful, delicate curls,
I walk tall and proud so no one dares to say she’s too dumb,
and I bite my tongue and hold back my pride and I have learned when to step back so no one will ever have the audacity to tell her she’s too ghetto or too loud or not proper enough to belong.
And so in all of this, I don’t know who I am.
I don’t know which one of the silly outdated labels fit me but I’m starting to realize I don’t care anymore.
I am making a difference
My voice is being heard
and seven generations from now I pray that for the sake of humanity my descendants don’t have to fight this fight.
They won’t see the line between black and white,
they’ll only see peace and prosperity.
They’ll see the light I am so yearning to reach.