Can Ex-Mormons & Mormons Be Friends? | The Honest Han Show EP 1

WELCOME TO THE FIRST EVER HONEST HAN SHOW PODCAST! I am so happy to you are here :')

In this conversation I interview 32 year old Utah native, Brendon Nielsen, about his journey leaving the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in 2020.

Brendon grew up in the Church his whole life, went to an LDS high school and BYU, served a faithful mission and was eventually married in the temple. He shares what led to him leaving, the emotions he felt and what is has been like navigating relationships with his family and community now that he is no longer a member.

We discuss tangible ideas our respective communities can do to better support the other as we navigate differences in belief. We also discuss why we believe members are on defense a lot, why Ex-Mormons can be so angry and end with finding common ground in none other than Jesus Christ.

Can Ex-Mormons and Mormons be friends? Stay tuned to find out!

XOXO, Han

TIME STAMPS:

3:40 - Brendon shares his background growing up in the Church in Utah
7:58 - Policies & Social Issues in 2020; pivotal turning point
9:50 - Empathy & compassion towards him & the pain he experienced leaving the Church
11:39 - The collapse of community after leaving
15:30 - It is hard for both parties to leave and to be left behind
16:03 - Addressing inflammatory rhetoric about the Church - understanding Ex-Mormon anger
17:15 - Asking Church members for more empathy
19:55 - Finding common ground in honesty & authenticity
23:36 - Discussing what could have been done to help him feel more safe at Church
25:15 - If Jesus were real, how would he handle someone with doubts? - Brendon
26:42 - When Brendon felt closest to God
29:09 - Hannah's testimony of the Book of Mormon being about love - addressing church hypocrisy
31:13 - Finding common ground in hope for how we treat each other
31:29 - Addressing LDS member's defensive behavior; referencing the response to David Archuleta's TikTok; referencing generational trauma in pioneer heritage
37:56 - Brendon validating members experiencing social difficulties
38:30 - Hannah asking members to reflect and ask if we are loving people or trying to prove ourselves
39:11 - Recognizing therapy & psychology and conversations like this are new in society & church
39:40 - Hannah's belief in the purpose of life being love; calling out her own hypocrisy; pleading for humility
40:40 - Hannah's declaration of love for the Church and those in the Church and those who have left; calling for accountability in the Church and addressing the things that are hard and inconsistent with the gospel of Jesus Christ; addressing the lack of accountability in Church between Church members; love = accountability - validating those who have experienced abuse in the Church
42:38 - Brendon addressing the common rhetoric "When people leave the Church but they can't leave it behind" - why that might occur in those who have left the Church
45:09 - Allowing everyone their own agency, preventing projection of insecurity onto either party
46:21 - If Jesus had a podcast, would he be rage baiting?
47:50 - Addressing classic Mormon/Ex-Mormon rhetoric - Brendon shares it can be jarring to have someone leave the Church - validating the reality that it is hard to navigate both relationships
50:33 - Touching on the pain Church members are experiencing with Ex-Mormons; Hannah shares her experience being bullied by Ex-Mormon content creator on Instagram
57:01 - Brendon speaking on behalf of Ex-Mormons who are angry & project pain; advice
59:50 - Addressing how we communicate online; step away from proving ourselves
1:01:00 - Specific takeaways we've done to build unity & love in these relationships
1:07:25 - We love the people in the Church in Utah
1:08 - There are amazing people in every denomination and belief system who love God
1:09:43 - Reading a couple verses in the Book of Mormon together that emphasize love over fear and contention
1:12:00 - Brendon asks what Ex-Mormons can do to be better friends to those in the Church; addressing fear of vulnerability on both sides


Find Brendon here:

  / dvddymusic  

Find Honest Han on Instagram & Substack!

  / honest__han  

https://hannahklarson.substack.com/

About the Honest Han Show:

The ultimate purpose of my podcast is to build Zion. I believe Zion means living together in love with the people around us in celebration of our differences. I believe this starts with creating spaces where people feel safe to open up and be honest about who they are and what they experience, even if those experiences are different than our own.

Honesty is at the core of connection with self, others and God. I believe genuine connection leads to real relationships which lead to true joy. I want all of us, regardless of where we are at in our life and faith journey's to experience joy. Which is why I am making this podcast.

Brendon and I filmed this episode in August 2025.