Too Good | goodbye 2019

FINALLY! A NEW EDIT!

Honestly, I've been trying for months to make a new edit and literally nothing came to me and all of sudden last night I get inspiration and here's this and I'm in love with it. It's all from the heart.

2019 has kicked my ass. I went into this year suffering with depression. I had my own place, but I was alone. I was working a job I hated and spent almost everyday crying. It's funny when I look back to it now. I remember being up all the time, only getting 3-4 hours of sleep per day but yet I still felt like I was missing so much. I suffered with severe depression for 6 months of this year. I felt like I had taken so many steps back all because I choose to take a job that in the end wasn't for me. All I could was binge Grey's Anatomy just because I knew it was the only show that could relate to my pain. That I could cry so many times and feel not alone. I would cry in the car, I would cry at work, I would cry at home. I felt like I had failed so many people and myself. In March I got a new job and I was so happy but I still felt so alone. In May, my boyfriend and I moved out of our apartment and into his parent's house in hopes of getting my anxiety and depression back on track. Mental health is my number one priority. In June, I transfered departments and finally I was getting my life back together. In August, I lost one of my dearest cats from childhood. Rest in peace Old Man Joe. I kept having bad panic attacks up until September (winter season is when I thrive, let me tell you). Everything that I worked for in 2018 was thrown away in 2019. I tried so hard to repair so much of it. I tried getting back into editing, I tried going back to the gym, I tried motivating myself but I couldn't do it. I think I needed the year. I needed the year to heal. I needed to accept and move on. Now, I'm one of the tops at my work, I have friends I love and laugh literally everyday. Everything is slowly coming back together and I'm so thrilled and excited to enter the new year.

This video is to those I hurt. You know who you guys are. Believe me I never forget anything and I still beat myself up everyday. But thanks for giving me a second and even third chance. I don't deserve it. But you guys are always in my heart, no matter where I go.

2020... I'm ready for you

--| video info. |--
» song: Too Good by Breathe Carolina
» footage: Transformers Prime
» program: Sony Vegas Pro 16

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