THE SETUP IS ALWAYS THE SAME, SO IS MY REACTION

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THE SETUP IS ALWAYS THE SAME, SO IS MY REACTION

It never opens with chaos.
It opens polite.
A small expectation slipped into my hand
like it won’t cost anything.

I recognize the frame immediately.
Delay dressed as fairness.
Rules explained after they’re enforced.
Options shaped to look voluntary.

I tell myself this time is different.
That I’ll let it pass.
That I won’t press where it tightens.

That lasts minutes.

The moment refuses to stay neutral.
It leans.
I feel it lean
and my body answers before thought does.

There it is —
the same internal shift.
Focus narrowing.
Tolerance gone.
Everything turning into a test I didn’t agree to take.

THE SETUP IS ALWAYS THE SAME —
promise without follow-through.

THE SETUP IS ALWAYS THE SAME —
pressure pretending it’s reasonable.

And my reaction follows like muscle memory.
I don’t observe.
I engage.
I challenge the premise
as if reality can be cornered into revision.

I escalate because that’s how I was met.
No acceptance,
only correction.
No listening,
only outcome.

So when it happens again
I reenact the lesson perfectly.

I push back harder than needed.
I sharpen language.
I turn resistance into confrontation
and call it clarity.

Then comes the familiar collapse.
Not dramatic —
predictable.
The situation hardens.
My response calcifies with it.

I get furious at the pattern
and furious at myself
for stepping into it fully aware of the mechanics.

THE SETUP IS ALWAYS THE SAME —
a choice that isn’t one.

THE SETUP IS ALWAYS THE SAME —
consequences decided in advance.

And my reaction keeps proving
I learned exactly what was taught.

I don’t adapt.
I retaliate.
I don’t pause.
I assert.

Afterward I inventory the damage
and pretend I didn’t see it coming.

I did.

That’s the part that sticks.
Not surprise.
Recognition.

This isn’t impulse.
It’s rehearsal.
A response practiced so often
it feels inevitable.

I want the loop to end
but I keep mistaking confrontation
for control.

So it resets.
Same conditions.
Same internal ignition.
Same aftermath I swear won’t repeat.

THE SETUP IS ALWAYS THE SAME.
SO IS MY REACTION.

And until I learn how to let something stand
without trying to dominate it,
the sequence will keep playing
exactly as written —
with my name on every step.