Reminiscing.//Bungou Stray Dogs//Chuuya Nakahara Angst//Soukoku

Video lines:

"Every time I think I'm getting better, something happens.

I believe I am human.

Deep in my wrist there is a single piece of lead that proves so.

So I am—I have to be—human, that is.

And yet...every time I look at my hands, I get reminded of what's inside me.

That thing that destroys everything in its path both mindlessly and mercilessly can only create one thing.

Doubt.

Doubt inside me that I can be like everyone else—that I am like everyone else.

It's a shame; hell, it's ironic.

How fucking funny.

The very mark that proves my humanity is right below the spot that disproves it.

So, I wear my gloves.

I only take them off when necessary, or when I decide to set that goddamned demon free.

But...sometimes I took them off when he was there.

I hate that bastard with every fiber (not line) of my being.

I do.

But...

He was good for some things...

Like lighting a mood sometimes...even though he'd dampen it again right after, like the jerk he is.

Or creating some bogus plan that somehow got us both out alive at the very end, that shifty jackass.

Or like how he'd pull me back to myself, away from it.

That guy never did seem to have an ounce of humanity in him...until I ran out of mine.

It's funny; we almost traded it off in a way each time.

I'd succumb to the Tainted Sorrows, and he would watch over me, touching me gently each time it was over as No Longer Human flowed into its namesake through him again.

Though, in those quiet moments, I'd like to think we were both human alongside each other for once.

With everything he did in those times, with the way he did them, fuck, even the way he looked at me. It all murmured human to me.

And after what I came back from—after being what is truly inhuman and overcoming that, becoming myself again, I'd say I was pretty human in those moments too...or maybe that's just wishful thinking.

But, in those moments, we were always equal in everything.

Though, that's a strange way of looking at things...I doubt he sees it the same way.

We never did agree after all..."

😃...

Don't sue me if I got some words SLIGHTLY different I wrote this out at 3 in the morning once and then edited some of the words in the video to my liking...And I was not about to watch the video to write it down word for word. You'll be okay...

Anyways take this platonically or romantically idc as long as you're kind with your thoughts

Btw when Chuuya says, "touching me gently each time it was over as No Longer Human flowed INTO its namesake THROUGH him again," he's saying No Longer Human is flowing FROM Dazai and INTO either HIM or ARAHABAKI, nullifying it. He is NOT calling Dazai the "namesake" of his ability. Please don't misunderstand...

AND. Chuuya doesn't have a defined color because it's his POV and he doesn't really think of himself as any ONE thing (or color ig). Dazai is blue because Chuuya associates him with his ability and because it's calming, along with the effect of his abilityyyy...Things that refer to Arahabaki are red because well. Yeah. Red=Anger, danger, strength, Chuuya's ability's color, etc. And when Chuuya refers to him and Dazai BOTH it's black because they're Soukoku/Double Black/Twin Dark...There is always a reason for what I do I promise 🙏🙏

"I hate Dazai, I do." Says while laughing wholeheartedly...you're not beating the allegations buddy...try again another time...

Song: Dear Friend by REPULSIVE

Anyways hope you enjoyed (you better have this took me days.)!! :]] ♡♡♡