Why Your Avoidant Partner Threatens To Leave Every Fight | Adam Lane Smith

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Why They Threaten to Leave! Have you ever been in a relationship where, in the middle of a fight, your partner suddenly threatened to leave? If you’ve been with an avoidant partner, you may have noticed how quickly they jump from being committed to suddenly questioning the entire relationship. It’s frustrating, but this isn’t about manipulation—it’s an escape mechanism rooted in their attachment style. In this video, I’ll explain why avoidant partners often think about breaking up during even the smallest disagreements and how their lack of secure bonding affects their ability to handle conflict.

Many avoidantly attached people genuinely believe that ending the relationship is the only solution to avoid emotional pain—for both of you. Their brains are wired for hypervigilance, and without the right levels of bonding hormones like oxytocin, their cortisol (stress hormone) levels spike. This pushes them into fight-or-flight mode, making them feel suffocated and overwhelmed during arguments. I’ll dive deep into what’s really going on in their minds, why they struggle to stay committed, and most importantly, how you can navigate these dynamics to create a healthier, more connected relationship.

In this video, you’ll learn:

Why avoidant partners threaten to leave during conflict
The biochemical reasons behind their behavior
How their attachment style impacts their ability to bond
What to do to reduce their stress and build trust in your relationship

If you enjoyed this video then I would recommend you give this video on avoidant attachment a watch:    • Specific Games Avoidants Play (The Silent ...  

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Chapters:
00:00:00 - Understanding Avoidant Behavior in Relationships
00:02:38 - Understanding the Importance of Intimacy
00:05:28 - The Escape Mechanism of Breaking Up
00:08:07 - Recognizing Patterns in Avoidant Relationships
00:10:44 - The Challenges of Breakups and Divorce
00:13:16 - Core Issues in Couples Therapy
00:15:49 - Understanding Avoidant Attachment
00:18:26 - Curiosity and Communication in Relationships
00:20:54 - Building Trust with Avoidant People
00:23:17 - Join Me There