Discernment & Differentiation: Led by the Spirit Pt. 1

What if the missing link in your leadership isn’t a new strategy but a deeper way of being? We open up the connection between differentiation and discernment, showing how identity, humility, and the Spirit’s guidance shape leaders who can face pressure without losing soul or mission. Rather than treating them as competing ideas, we weave them together as one spiritual practice grounded in Scripture and tested in real church life.

We start with differentiation as Jesus and Paul lived it: knowing who you are. Then we pivot to discernment—not as a decision hack, but as a communal pursuit of wisdom from above. We explore how elder teams and congregations can pray, debate , and listen together until they can say, “It seemed good to the  Spirit and to us.” 

If you’re a pastor, elder, or lay leader longing for Spirit-led clarity without the noise, this conversation offers a path forward—biblically rooted, relationally honest, and designed for real churches. Subscribe, share with your team, and leave a review with one practice your church uses to listen for God together.


Resources

• Pete Scazzero – Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (https://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-He...)
• Edwin H. Friedman – A Failure of Nerve (https://www.amazon.com/Failure-Nerve-...)
• Edwin H. Friedman – Generation to Generation (https://www.amazon.com/Generation-Min...)
• Murray Bowen – Family Therapy in Clinical Practice (https://www.amazon.com/Family-Therapy...)
• Amy C. Edmondson – The Fearless Organization (https://www.amazon.com/Fearless-Organ...)
• Brené Brown – Daring Greatly (https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly...)
• Brad Paisley – Me and Jesus (song) (https://open.spotify.com/track/0cJvJH...)
• Dr. Kenneth R. Quick – The Eighth Letter (https://www.amazon.com/Eighth-Letter-...)



Differentiation – Living with clarity about your identity, values, and calling while remaining connected without being controlled.
Discernment – Humbly seeking the Spirit’s wisdom together, beyond mere decision-making.
Reactivity – Anxious, emotional pushback that manipulates or dominates.
Adaptivity – Withdrawing or yielding your voice out of insecurity or fear.
Psychological Safety – A relational environment where people can speak honestly without fear of threat.
Trialogue – A relational awareness in which two people engage while attending prayerfully to the Spirit’s presence.
Isolation – Withdrawal from relational closeness and accountability, often mistaken for differentiation.


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